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The Emotional Stages Of Getting Your Hair Colored

“I’m sure it’ll look better tomorrow after some of the color washes out. Right. Yes. I’m sure.”
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Any girl who’s ever dyed her hair has known the horror of a job badly done. And you try to keep your cool on the outside, but really, inside, you’re like…OMG.

Stage 1: DENIAL

“I’m sure it’ll look better tomorrow after some of the color washes out. Right. Yes. I’m sure.”

Yeah, the color’s not quite what it looks like on the box, but maybe it’s the kind of thing that needs some time to settle? Maybe? Right?

Stage 2: ANGER

“OMG THIS IS TOTALLY NOT WHAT I WAS GOING FOR OMG I LOOK LIKE A TITA OMG WHAT HAPPENED OMG MY LIFE IS RUINED FOREVER OMG.”

Oh my God, orange is not the new black, and it is definitely not what you wanted your color to look like and you literally cannot right now! Um, false advertising much?! To make things worse, your tita totes just asked if you used the same dye she does because she loves your new look, hija. OMG.

Stage 3: BARGAINING

“Is this my karma for all the terrible things I’ve ever done because I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ll never do it again? Whyyyyy?”

You start praying to Beysus and Lady Godga and All Saints and basically anyone and everyone you can think of to get you through this tress tragedy. I mean, you’re not a bad person, right? What did you do to deserve this?

Stage 4: DEPRESSION

“I’m going into hibernation until I look human again. Just wipe me off the face of the earth already.”

It’s the end of the world. It’s the end of the world. You’re better off locking yourself up in your room, crawling under your covers, and never coming out again because this is a bad hair life. This is what you get for buying that generic brand when your beauty nerd BFF totally told you that L’Oreal Excellence Crème was the answer you were looking for. You never listen. 

Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE

“Maybe I can rock a turban? Maybe I can shave my head and still look hot like Natalie Portman in V For Vendetta?”

Let’s face it, you can’t hide forever, and the major melt down is just not worth it, and the guy you’ve been crushing on for a year finally asked you out and you can’t say no. You can do this. Somehow. (But next time you’re gonna do right by you and only color your hair the right way.)

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