How To Deal With Your Dark Side

We've all heard that old saying about turning fate's lemons into lemonade. In our modern lives, this would translate to catching up on chick lit at the airport while waiting for endlessly delayed stormy-weather flights, turning a former potted plant into a dry flower arrangement, making a hair mask from bruised bananas, and enjoying breakfast off the grand dinner last night that half the expected guests didn't turn up for. You get the picture?

Real-life snitches in which problems turn into golden ops crop up once in a while, but chances to turn your evil impulses into something positive come up every day. The emotional alchemy of going from a nega diva to shining example is so magical, so breathtaking, you'll never want to waste a single negative emotion ever again!

Backstabbing Babe

Have you been muttering behind someone else's back lately? That knife you just stuck into someone's unsuspecting back could definitely come back to haunt you. Bad karma is one reason to nip those underhanded tactics in the bud. Celebrating meanly over another diva's downfall is a fast way to morph into Miss Grinch. Backstabbing babes end up all alone because nobody trusts a double-crossing dame. In fact, folks might fake friendship with a backstabber to stay safely on her good side. But, in reality, nobody really loves her!

Still need a reason not to rat on your colleague on your way to the top? Here's one: You can't necessarily take the competition down by spreading petty lies or nasty rumors. Doing so could ruin your reputation in the process. Plus, it won't make your life any better. So, was it you who made sure the new girl didn't get too popular by circulating a vile story that nobody'll ever trace back to you? Clever, yes, but admirable? No way.

Instead of ruining another person's rep, turn that skill toward enhancing your own. A talent for networking and gathering information can give you a huge edge, both in your personal and professional lives. Be the first to know who's retiring, who's moving up, and which prestigious post is yours for the taking--all because you found out about it early. Use the grapevine to "brag" about your achievements in an oh-so-casual way (this is where your finesse with gossip comes handy).

Being a pro at the art of conversation can get you virtually anything, from invites and free movie tickets to an introduction to the hottie you've been eyeing. Turn on the charm, drop a few well-placed words, and watch your life go from drab to fab! And remember, you're doing this to make your own life happen, not destroy someone else's.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman...

When you lose your cool, an extreme expression of anger often does more harm than good. So, should you just bottle up the fact that you're boiling? Cosmo says: No, but be wise about it. Rage fuels physical energy, so channel that burst of energy into something that really needs it. Some productive alternatives: attacking the clutter on your desk instead of your colleague, using that surge of fury to give you the nerve to ask your friend to return the money she owes pronto, and working on that deadline instead of screaming until you embarrass yourself in public.

"I think the best way to deal with anger is to work it off. If you're angry at something bad that has happened in your life, you can either bang your head against the wall, or you can try and achieve something," says Asha, 30, an entrepreneur. "Different people have different ways of reining in their temper...I'm a workaholic, so the best and easiest way for me to deal with anger is to work harder. I tire myself out so that the feeling evaporates rather than escalates."

Go to the next page to learn how to put a stop to your envious, controlling, and despairing tendencies.

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