We Cosmo editors logically become stand-in therapists to many of our friends. We make like the sounding boards that help decode a certain guy's pa-simple style (hatid-sundo galore) or dissect his most recent text ("Jst thot of u...wala lang. :)"). We even go as far as recommending remedies for painful heartbreak ("Pick up a so-fabulous hobby. Now na!") or applying psychological restraints on a should-be-playing-hard-to-get girl ("Girl! Don't naman text him 10 times!"), even if she's already head-over-heels in love. Like methodical physicians, we examine the details, give our diagnosis, and prescribe, hopefully, the best remedy there is.

However, out of all the advice I've doled out, there's one thing that I should have told many friends, but, well, never really dared to: You're the reason for your heartbreak.

Yes, you read me right: It's not him; it's you.

Raging Weakness

Before any of you girls picket outside the Cosmo office, I make this startling pronouncement only out of love and concern for all of you and for my dear friends. As proof, over the years, I've actually grown to be your number one fan. Why wouldn't I be? You're lovely, beautiful, hot, and so in-control. You work hard and paint your own corner of the world with so much color and verve that you breathe life into everyone else around you. Pero, heto na: 'Pag dating sa love, well, that's another story. Unfortunately, it can be the Waterloo of one too many Cosmo chicks—even the fiercely independent ones.  

I personally think that if women would only embrace the power they should have over their love lives, the world would be a much happier place. Sometimes, when the going gets tough in that department of our lives, it's tempting to buckle down and play helpless damsels. Women who have it all end up giving everything up. Go-getters who normally know what they want settle for p'wede na. Heck, even confident, so-accomplished chicks develop totally deranged measures of self-worth.

Tough-Love Time

I therefore would like to devote this small bit of cyberspace to jot down some basic reminders for all of you, my beloved friends. If there's one thing I've learned from reading and re-reading Cosmo, it's that you can choose your fate in love. You have the potential to catch the eye of the guy you fancy. You have the capacity to make a relationship work. You have the power to be the best girlfriend there is. You own the right to walk away from someone who doesn't think you’re wonderful...and seek someone who is worthy of the gem that you are.

It really begins with accepting that your heart is in your control. Choose happiness over heartbreak. Choose a better guy over the one who doesn't call back. Choose a healthy relationship over the one that leaves you in ruins. Thinking "it's not him, it's you" is supposed to give you immense power. After all, it only means that nobody has the right to break your heart (or keep breaking it, for that matter) if you don't let them.

Relationship Arsenal

We Cosmo editors aren't perfect when it comes to love. We know very well how different perspectives get when it's your love story on the line, and it's absolutely the same in our case. But, I trust that I have you, my Cosmo chick friends, to be kilig with me when a new romance comes along, to share relationship tidbits with me, and even to knock me back to my senses if I get, well, stupidly in love.

Again, I won't say that I'll be the perfect GF, or that I'll certainly get to practice what I preach when the time comes. All I know is that I'm hoping, like you, that I can bring with me snippets of Cosmo wisdom in my next relationship. I'd like to know: "Could He Be The One?" (Cosmo Bride p.12). I want be schooled on how to "[Take] It To The Next Level" (Cosmo Bride p.4). I also want to be able to keep my relationship alive and exciting by applying the "25 Ways To Stay Super Kilig" (Cosmo p.94), be wary of "The Moment He's Most Likely To Cheat" (p.106), and even master the "60 Hands-Free Ways To Wow Him" (p.100).

These are just some of the relationship stories we have for you in the June 2011 issue. Imagine if you and I gather all the wisdom from the past issues and the issues to come, then we could all be the "dream girlfriends" we're destined to be.

Related Articles

• Relationships 101: Are You A Settler?
• 7 Pieces Of Relationship Advice You Shouldn't Take From A Friend
• 5 Risks That Will Boost Your Love
• 13 Rules To Keep Your Relationship LQ-Free
• Best of Cosmo.ph: Top 20 Love & Lust Articles

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