Let's Hear It For The Boys

Posted on March 6, 2010 06:30 pm by Cereb Gregorio, Editorial Assistant
Photo: Courtesy of ABS-CBN

Some weeks ago, the whole Cosmo staff broke out in a flurry of conversation over an email that was sent to me by a friend based in New York. It was about a book written for single women that challenged everything we’d like to believe about love and marriage. We gathered along the aisle to discuss Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. The author is 40, beautiful, accomplished—and single. In her book, she encourages women everywhere to “stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming, and instead go for Mr. Good Enough,” so as not to end up with the same fate she did. Naturally, that got us all talking about our expectations and deal breakers, and whether or not they could be considered reasonable.

In an interview with The New York Times, Gottlieb defends her argument with refreshing candor. “We are taught as young women in this culture that compromise is a bad word,” she says. “We tell each other: 'You go, girl. You get the best. You deserve the best.' It's not so much narcissism as a false cultural perception of our worth. We want the ten, because we think we're a ten. But, we're missing the fact that we're not. Nobody is. Men have flaws, but we have flaws, too.” Let’s face it. Sometimes, our girlfriends tell us what we want to hear because we’re built like that. We love our own, so much so that we look past (or refuse to see) faults that are obviously there.

I’d like to think that it’s not about settling, but finding someone who complements us instead: someone whose strengths are your weaknesses, someone you can be with for long periods of time without getting annoyed or bored. Someone who accepts you, flaws and all. Forget that he has a unibrow, a bothersome mole, or that he’s just about the same height as you are. You have your own shortcomings, too. It’s all about looking past the little things that keep you from seeing what really counts.

In last month's travel feature in Cosmo, we agreed on cutting boyfriends some slack and coming up with date ideas that they’d enjoy. No more chick flicks, girly nights out, or shopping trips. We made it all about the men who’d willingly put up with so much just to see the women in their lives happy. If you find that you’re not having as much fun as you’d like, just think of the many times he carried your shopping bags while you spent hours looking for the perfect pair of flats, or the time he watched episode after episode of Boys Over Flowers with you. Show him your appreciation, because as fabulous as you may be, your guy still needs to be commended for being your patient, caring, and loving other half.

Tags: tips,love,relationships,marriage,Cereb Gregorio,single ladies

Subscribe to Cosmopolitan E-Newsletter | Subscribe to Cosmopolitan Magazine

• Read comments [21]
• Post comment
• Email this
• Share
  |
• Fave this post
• Back to Cosmo Community main
• Read previous post
• Read next post
• Back to Cosmo Home

From THE FUN, FEARLESS FORUM:

21 Comments

• 
  Santori01
  21. dont be choosy if your not yummy.. lol..:p
  April 30, 2010 at 04:40 am report abuse
• 
  chase-r
  20. in short, stop being too choosy i guess. :p great article!
  April 03, 2010 at 02:22 am report abuse
• 
  flyingfish
  19. I’d like to think that it’s not about settling, but finding someone who complements us instead: someone whose strengths are your weaknesses, someone you can be with for long periods of time without getting annoyed or bored. Someone who accepts you, flaws and all. -- this is the best part :)
  April 03, 2010 at 12:05 am report abuse
• 
  Santori01
  18. @lalabong:i agree with you for better to break than stay for nothing...
  March 17, 2010 at 05:37 pm report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  17. some people say na you have to be contended with you Mr. Right Now, pero for me hindi siguro because if you feel that there's no connection anymore better break up with him and find your Mr. Right instead.
  March 17, 2010 at 07:36 am report abuse
• 
  mary_ann_lei
  16. Hihi..Maja and Kim Bum!
  March 12, 2010 at 11:44 am report abuse
• 
  Santori01
  15. It feels so good to have someone who knows how weak and stupid you are at times.. and YET Still Finds you Amazing Simply because they love you...
  March 11, 2010 at 11:13 pm report abuse
• Romsy
  14. Wow. That hit me right there. We do forget sometimes to thank them when we get so caught up in our own girl-power.
  March 11, 2010 at 07:39 pm report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  13. it’s not about settling, but finding someone who complements us instead. i agree ! find someone who will love you more too.
  March 11, 2010 at 05:27 pm report abuse
• 
  Alex
  12. Here's the thing. I read this in a book by Bo Sanchez, a quote from Dr. Phil McGraw: "If the guy has 80 percent of the qualities and is willing to grow the extra 20 percent, bag that boy because he's good to go. Don't walk way past him looking for Mr. 100 percent because somebody is going to marry Mr. 80 percent."
  March 11, 2010 at 04:16 pm report abuse
• 
  hazelnutzy
  11. I prefer guys who are simple instead of the Prince Charming type, because theyre real. Prince Charming is a passe already :P
  March 08, 2010 at 11:18 am report abuse
• 
  gagaoversamyg
  10. awwweee.....thats a very nice article there cereb....will tell this to my sis-in-laws who sometimes complain bout my bros and to my friends with bf and husbands..
  March 07, 2010 at 04:35 pm report abuse
• kimilicious
  9. 100% true. very nice.;-)
  March 07, 2010 at 02:52 pm report abuse
• 
  toughgurl
  8. ang ganda!enlightening.=)
  March 07, 2010 at 12:42 pm report abuse
• 
  loveme.hateme
  7. nice, I like it. :D
  March 07, 2010 at 11:40 am report abuse
• 
  shadysurvives
  6. "... it’s not about settling, but finding someone who complements us instead: someone whose strengths are your weaknesses, someone you can be with for long periods of time without getting annoyed or bored. Someone who accepts you, flaws and all." WALA NA AKO MASABI :-)
  March 07, 2010 at 11:07 am report abuse
• 
  amie1985
  5. nice one, cereb! what an eye-opener. :)
  March 07, 2010 at 09:41 am report abuse
• 
  myles_away
  4. this is a good wake up call to all... thanks cosmo! :)
  March 07, 2010 at 01:19 am report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  3. I do agree on this one- it’s not about settling, but finding someone who complements us instead
  March 06, 2010 at 09:26 pm report abuse
• 
  rose17
  2. "We made it all about the men who’d willingly put up with so much just to see the women in their lives happy." -i so like this post... ang ganda. yes, Mr. Perfect doesn't exist just as Ms. Perfect don't. we just have to make our guys our own Prince Charmings in our life fairy tale..
  March 06, 2010 at 08:06 pm report abuse
• 
  khrizzysexig
  1. very enlightening :) God middag
  March 06, 2010 at 06:51 pm report abuse

RECEIVE COSMO.PH WEEKLY!

Join thousands of subscribers enjoying our fab weekly Wednesday sendouts, and get EXCLUSIVE celeb news, tips, and promos right in your inbox.