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It’s funny when people find out what I do for a living. After the customary curious questions about celebrities and Cosmo confessions, I usually end up playing love guru/career counselor/image builder to many new friends. I listen to them explore their career-defining choices, examine their personal style, and lament over their many love woes. Usually, I’d pick up a snippet or two from one of Cosmo’s many life-changing articles, but sometimes, I’d find myself equally as clueless.

I mean, really, there are just some moments when it’s totally hard to figure out what to do, how to feel, or what to say. 2009 was simply riddled with many such moments. Obligations weren’t easy, responsibilities were relentless, certain people were glaringly disheartening, and heartbreak was sometimes too much to bear. While 2009 had its fair share of happy highs, its tragic lows made it generally hard to hurdle.

An Introspective Pause

Right when I was ready to close 2009, it simply had to grant me its catastrophic finale. Never short of drama, politics, and catty villains, I found myself in a whirlwind of emotions worthy of a Latinovela. Things were charged, chaotic, painful.

The good thing about this dark hour was that I was forced to step back and look at the bigger picture. As wounded as I may have been by people I cared for and friends I trusted, I finally saw things for what they were, recognized people for how they truly are, and knew exactly what I had to do to be fair to myself. I realized that to live through this difficult challenge, I had to finally do what 2009 was constantly telling me to learn: to let go.

Learning Goodbye

Thing is, I’m not too good with goodbyes. I’m a pack rat for memories past, am often in love with the ghosts of yesteryear friendships, and while I may seem to be brazen and daring, I love my accustomed comfort zones. There’s safety and relief in the familiar.

However, what happens when the familiar is shaken and threatened? For those like me, it can get disorienting. Having gotten used to things, people, and relationships, change can leave one ultimately unsettled. During such compulsory shifts, one is compelled to venture out to new ground, find better relationships, and make a life-shifting difference. When you think about it, this is all good and necessary, but it can get undeniably frightening.

Making Room For Better Things

Overall, there is extreme power in purging. Letting go of methods that aren’t providing results, ending friendships that are extremely hurtful, ditching a crush who isn’t all that, leaving a job that has lost its luster, bidding farewell to a love that didn’t quite work out—these are all but necessary to free you up for bigger, better, and brighter things. It’s hard to welcome new things when your mind is cluttered with baggage and your heart is crowded with people who are extending their welcome.

Letting your dreams stew in inaction or dwelling on hurt won’t give what you want or what you deserve. At the end of the day and at the end of a tumultuous year, wanting to move on, let go, and work on better things and cherish worthier people are really the best ways to greet the New Year.

Happy 2010 to all of you! May you be blessed with health, wealth, and love this new year!

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