My Top 9 Life Lessons For 2009
Cosmo.ph's Managing Editor Trixie talks about the most significant things she's learned from her soap opera year that was 2009.
Posted on January 2, 2010 12:00 pm
Photo: Trixie Reyna
Posted on January 2, 2010 12:00 pm
Photo: Trixie Reyna
The past year was a soap opera for me—anyone who knows what I’ve been through could attest to that. 2009 began with forecasts that it would be my best year ever. And while a lot of great things happened that year, I’m not sure I can really call it my best, since it was riddled with heartbreaks, betrayals, and loads of disappointments, too. But what can we do? That’s how life goes; it can’t always be perfect, can it? But I do not regret anything, for with everything that happened to me that year, I took with it valuable lessons I’ll bring with me in 2010 and for the rest of my life.
Since there are far too many of them, I picked the nine most significant lessons, or at least those that seem to recur for some reason—maybe because I haven’t learned them enough the first time so I had to go through them again. Here goes.
1. Your health is worth a lot more than your job, what your colleagues, friends or family will think when you say no once in a while, or even all the fun you’ll miss by skipping a few parties. And whoever doesn’t take “health is wealth” seriously will sooner or later suffer from some sort of illness caused by her utter disregard for her own well-being, as I myself discovered this year. I used to have this twisted belief that I’m made of strong stuff, that I can pretty much work and party ‘til the wee hours, crash diet as I please, and take as much alcohol and junk food until I’m convinced I’m stress-free. I was dead wrong, and I only learned this late this year, when I realized I’ve been getting sick every month (no fail) since June and when in October I failed to recover from a really bad respiratory illness after three weeks. Since then, I TRIED very hard to get as much sleep as I could and take care of myself even more (although I failed miserably again in December, but babawi ako this year). I vowed that, as much as I love my job to bits, I refuse to die for it.
2. You can’t please everybody. No matter how hard you try to please your boss, your staff, your friends, your readers, your family, your lover, yourself, somewhere along the way, their needs, wants, values, opinions, time, and even budget will conflict with yours and with each other…and at least one or more of them would end up disgruntled and disappointed. I used to find myself very much affected when I would sense that even at least one of them isn't pleased with me, with my work, with what I have done. It took some time (and a medical analysis that indicated I think and worry too much) before I realized that, while there are a lot of things within my control, people’s opinions of me are not one of them. So why care too much?
3. Forgive but never forget the lessons. So you’ve been betrayed, cheated on, backstabbed, lied to, and been the recipient of all sorts of hurtful acts that turned your otherwise great year into a madrama one. Let go of the hurt, pain, and anger; simply forgive—no one’s asking you to be friends again with that ex who cheated on you or that colleague who backstabbed you, but you can try not to be mad at them. Harboring ill feelings will only add to your stress, and God knows we have too much of that already, just from our impossible workload and neglected personal commitments. Still, keep the lessons you learned from these persons. That’s what they were good for, after all. With what they taught you inadvertently, you will lessen the chances you’ll fall prey to the likes of them again.
4. Maliit ang mundo. So there are two things you must do: one, never stop expanding it; and two, make sure you keep that little world of yours harmonious. This includes avoiding dating within your very small circle, being careful what you say about or do to other people (remember? “What goes around…”), and avoiding anything that will complicate further that intricate web of connections you’ve managed to create.
5. Listen. And heed what you learn from listening. A lot of the mistakes (and consequent dramas) I committed this year were all caused by my not listening well—to well-meaning friends who gave hard-to-swallow words of advice or warnings, to family and pals who needed an ear but I was too busy prioritizing work to be there for them, to my own instincts that told me to not go out with that guy, not attend that party, or not involve myself in that issue, among other things. I learned that I learn so much more when I listen, rather than when I busy myself too much talking about what happened to me because I didn’t listen when I should have in the first place.
6. Learn to let go of people. We all love making new friends, meeting new lovers, expanding our world that always just ends up smaller (see #4). And there’s nothing wrong with that—in fact, it’s great, and these people all make our lives colorful and meaningful in their own way. But there are people who, no matter how painful or difficult, we simply have to forget, to carefully pluck from our intricate web of connections. Maybe they’re no longer good for us, maybe they only bring us pain and remind us of the worse version of ourselves, maybe they keep us from growing and learning more, maybe we keep them from growing and improving. We have to identify these people and have the courage to bid them goodbye…without hoping they’ll ever come back.
7. Smile and have fun! Trabaho lang ‘yan, lalaki lang ‘yan, tsismis lang ‘yan, pera lang ‘yan. Every drawback can be turned into an opportunity to learn, to grow, to shine. So, why not smile and enjoy the ride? I vowed, early in 2009, to go through the year with a smile—no matter what life threw at me. And I must say, I was able to do that diligently. Not taking everything too seriously made life lighter, brighter, and more hopeful somehow. And, I looked better, too. Hah!
8. Your truest friends are those who can be brutally honest with you and who are as easy to drag along for a good time as it is to have them stay with you on your most difficult moments. They are the ones who will tell it to your face when they're upset with you and not talk behind your back when they're having problems with you. They'll be there, celebrating your best moments with you, and they'll also be the first to drop everything and be with you when you desperately need company. I am fortunate enough to have this kind of friends.
9. When all else fails, prayer and faith are all you’ve got. No matter what you believe in, what religion you observe, you must always talk to and trust in your God. It’s from your God that you get that strength and courage to carry on when you thought you already had none. Besides, He’ll never put you through trials you can’t handle. Somehow, some way, someday, you will emerge from everything beautiful and victorious. You’ll get to where you want to be—where He wants you to be. Just have faith.
Since there are far too many of them, I picked the nine most significant lessons, or at least those that seem to recur for some reason—maybe because I haven’t learned them enough the first time so I had to go through them again. Here goes.
1. Your health is worth a lot more than your job, what your colleagues, friends or family will think when you say no once in a while, or even all the fun you’ll miss by skipping a few parties. And whoever doesn’t take “health is wealth” seriously will sooner or later suffer from some sort of illness caused by her utter disregard for her own well-being, as I myself discovered this year. I used to have this twisted belief that I’m made of strong stuff, that I can pretty much work and party ‘til the wee hours, crash diet as I please, and take as much alcohol and junk food until I’m convinced I’m stress-free. I was dead wrong, and I only learned this late this year, when I realized I’ve been getting sick every month (no fail) since June and when in October I failed to recover from a really bad respiratory illness after three weeks. Since then, I TRIED very hard to get as much sleep as I could and take care of myself even more (although I failed miserably again in December, but babawi ako this year). I vowed that, as much as I love my job to bits, I refuse to die for it.
2. You can’t please everybody. No matter how hard you try to please your boss, your staff, your friends, your readers, your family, your lover, yourself, somewhere along the way, their needs, wants, values, opinions, time, and even budget will conflict with yours and with each other…and at least one or more of them would end up disgruntled and disappointed. I used to find myself very much affected when I would sense that even at least one of them isn't pleased with me, with my work, with what I have done. It took some time (and a medical analysis that indicated I think and worry too much) before I realized that, while there are a lot of things within my control, people’s opinions of me are not one of them. So why care too much?
3. Forgive but never forget the lessons. So you’ve been betrayed, cheated on, backstabbed, lied to, and been the recipient of all sorts of hurtful acts that turned your otherwise great year into a madrama one. Let go of the hurt, pain, and anger; simply forgive—no one’s asking you to be friends again with that ex who cheated on you or that colleague who backstabbed you, but you can try not to be mad at them. Harboring ill feelings will only add to your stress, and God knows we have too much of that already, just from our impossible workload and neglected personal commitments. Still, keep the lessons you learned from these persons. That’s what they were good for, after all. With what they taught you inadvertently, you will lessen the chances you’ll fall prey to the likes of them again.
4. Maliit ang mundo. So there are two things you must do: one, never stop expanding it; and two, make sure you keep that little world of yours harmonious. This includes avoiding dating within your very small circle, being careful what you say about or do to other people (remember? “What goes around…”), and avoiding anything that will complicate further that intricate web of connections you’ve managed to create.
5. Listen. And heed what you learn from listening. A lot of the mistakes (and consequent dramas) I committed this year were all caused by my not listening well—to well-meaning friends who gave hard-to-swallow words of advice or warnings, to family and pals who needed an ear but I was too busy prioritizing work to be there for them, to my own instincts that told me to not go out with that guy, not attend that party, or not involve myself in that issue, among other things. I learned that I learn so much more when I listen, rather than when I busy myself too much talking about what happened to me because I didn’t listen when I should have in the first place.
6. Learn to let go of people. We all love making new friends, meeting new lovers, expanding our world that always just ends up smaller (see #4). And there’s nothing wrong with that—in fact, it’s great, and these people all make our lives colorful and meaningful in their own way. But there are people who, no matter how painful or difficult, we simply have to forget, to carefully pluck from our intricate web of connections. Maybe they’re no longer good for us, maybe they only bring us pain and remind us of the worse version of ourselves, maybe they keep us from growing and learning more, maybe we keep them from growing and improving. We have to identify these people and have the courage to bid them goodbye…without hoping they’ll ever come back.
7. Smile and have fun! Trabaho lang ‘yan, lalaki lang ‘yan, tsismis lang ‘yan, pera lang ‘yan. Every drawback can be turned into an opportunity to learn, to grow, to shine. So, why not smile and enjoy the ride? I vowed, early in 2009, to go through the year with a smile—no matter what life threw at me. And I must say, I was able to do that diligently. Not taking everything too seriously made life lighter, brighter, and more hopeful somehow. And, I looked better, too. Hah!
8. Your truest friends are those who can be brutally honest with you and who are as easy to drag along for a good time as it is to have them stay with you on your most difficult moments. They are the ones who will tell it to your face when they're upset with you and not talk behind your back when they're having problems with you. They'll be there, celebrating your best moments with you, and they'll also be the first to drop everything and be with you when you desperately need company. I am fortunate enough to have this kind of friends.
9. When all else fails, prayer and faith are all you’ve got. No matter what you believe in, what religion you observe, you must always talk to and trust in your God. It’s from your God that you get that strength and courage to carry on when you thought you already had none. Besides, He’ll never put you through trials you can’t handle. Somehow, some way, someday, you will emerge from everything beautiful and victorious. You’ll get to where you want to be—where He wants you to be. Just have faith.
Tags: career,work,love,friends,health,relationships,life,lessons,2009,new year,learnings,Trixie
Advertisements
Follow
us on:
us on:
POPULAR IN COSMO COMMUNITY
-
A New York State Of Mind
Associate fashion editor Happy Lopez shows us snapshots from her amazing trip to New York... READ MORE
-
New Year On High
Cosmo.ph photographer and graphic artist Jico Joson went up to Baguio to welcome 2012--and play... READ MORE
RECEIVE COSMO.PH WEEKLY!
Join thousands of subscribers enjoying our fab weekly Wednesday sendouts, and get EXCLUSIVE celeb news, tips, and promos right in your inbox.
