By now, I’m sure most of the Twi-hards among you, Cosmo chicks, have seen Eclipse starring Kristen Stewart, the gorgeous Robert Pattinson, and the hot Taylor Lautner—if only for those two men I’ve just mentioned. It was lucky the movie opened on a non-working holiday, and I spent a good portion of that day at The Podium cinema for the block screening of the movie care of Jollibee (in line with the launch of their Eclipse tumbler promo—I got one with Edward and Bella on it). I saw the lines for tickets everywhere else—then and over this weekend--and it seems all tweens of Manila were in the cinemas; practically every Eclipse screening was sold out.

I must admit I really just wanted to see the movie to stare at Rob’s face and drool over Taylor’s abs. I’ve read the book, and I really wasn’t expecting to be blown away by the story. But since it has been two years since I first read the book, and a lot has happened since; I didn’t expect I’d actually get to think of other (serious) things besides hot male bodies and gorgeous faces. The Edward-Bella-Jacob triangle got me thinking about cheating, no matter how weird that sounds.

If you haven’t seen the movie nor read the book, beware of spoilers! There was a scene where Jacob was livid upon finding out that Bella has agreed to marry Edward. So Bella rushes to Jacob and asked him to kiss her—with Edward within mind-reading distance. Bella has concluded that she can love two men at once; she just loves Edward more.

In real life, a lot of people would claim to love two people at the same time—say, you’re committed to someone, but you can’t help but feel something for another person. After all, if you’ve been through a breakup, you already know that feelings aren’t like a switch you can turn on and off; remnants of old feelings remain, even if they weren’t as strong as before—or as strong as the one you have for your current flame. But where do you draw the line? And what constitutes cheating, anyway? Did Bella kissing Jacob mean she cheated?

I have heard several times that men and women define cheating differently. I've heard that to some guys, cheating means having sex without a condom; if protection was used, it doesn’t count. (Read an article on reasons why men cheat here.) But to some women, when their boyfriend goes out to dinner with one woman for a few times and without their knowledge, even if nothing has happened yet between them, that’s already cheating. What do we do with gray areas then?

Take this case for example: I know someone who had a boyfriend for a few months. Within the first month, the guy asked her if he can go out of town with his friend. He has always had a crush on this girl but she supposedly has a boyfriend—safe, right? A few weeks later, he shows up late for their date, saying he did overtime work, when the truth (as she later discovered) was he was drinking with his ex and some other friends. He lied. There were several other instances when the guy outright refused to see the girl, saying he was busy, when he was in fact seeing the girl. They never lasted. He claims he never cheated, the girl has a boyfriend, and they were never together. But what was he doing? To you, Cosmo chicks, would you call that cheating? And if he asks for another chance, is it worth pursuing?

Yes, there’s the issue of forgiveness. I have always wondered (and I have always asked my friends and even the Cosmo hunks we interview): Would you forgive a cheater? I do hope you answer this, too, when you comment on this post. Almost everyone I’ve asked answered no. This is often followed by the saying “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” (Read an article on how to keep your man from cheating when you click on this link.) But I know of people who got back together with their partners who cheated on them—some cheated once and never did it again; others have been cheated on twice or more times and still stayed. The latter kind I simply call tanga. Yet for the former, I wonder what “definition” of cheating you can forgive. For sure, the length of the relationship and how deeply they have been committed are major factors to consider when forgiving a cheating partner.

I write about this, not because I know the right answers to any of these questions, but because I really would like to know what you think. I know I can never forgive a cheating partner, but with Eclipse-like situations, I’ve been brought to wonder if there’s a "form" of cheating I can forgive.

Despite these gray areas, I know this for sure: I may be able to forgive a certain “form” of cheating once, but when the same thing happens again, I’ll be the first to leave. It’s great if you never allow yourself to be tanga, but minsan, hindi talaga mapigilang magpaka-tanga—ONCE. But please do not let him take advantage of you again. There are so many men out there, men who can be loyal, men you can trust completely. There’s no point staying in a relationship where trust can never exist. And if you’ve ever been cheated on, you know that the damage goes much deeper than a broken relationship—it breaks you: your self-worth and your ability to trust in people are just two of many aspects of your person that being cheated on can destroy.

If you’re in this situation again, do yourself a big favor and just leave. For good. Yes, even if he looks like Robert Pattinson.

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