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Breakups are never ever easy. Never. They’re possibly one of the most painful experiences one could go through and it’s always a moment filled with tears, sleepless nights, and mixed emo moments.

Someone I know recently got out of a long term relationship…it lasted five years and ten months to be exact. She said it was sad, painful, and unexplainable, even to this day. I didn’t know what to tell her. Even if I give her advice, I know it won’t change a thing. The feelings will remain no matter how hard she tries until the time comes when she’s finally okay, and who knows when that day will come. It can be after a month, a year, or more. How do you help someone who’s hurting? All I could really do was listen. And so I listened as she poured all her emotions out to me:

“I can’t believe this happened. It was so sudden.”

“Parang wala na talaga…I think this is finally it.”

“I didn’t want [us] to break up but what can I do if 'yun ang gusto niya. Mahal ko siya e so I’ll let go even if I really can’t.”

“Maybe I deserve this. The past couple of months have been really hard and I know it’s my fault.”

In a nutshell, she said she felt like she was in limbo. She’s still in love with her ex but since this happened, does that mean she has to at least start moving on when that’s the last thing on her mind right now? She’s on a standstill and in denial about everything that just happened, to the point that she doesn’t know which direction to go. She seems lost and lonely all the time even if friends have been urging her to go out to distract herself.

But she refuses to. Everything seems so surreal to her at the moment that one minute she’s okay then she gets teary-eyed the next, without warning. Never a day goes by that she doesn’t cry her heart out when she’s by lonesome, reminded of her ex.

It’s a sad thing, but that’s love, right? It can’t be perfect and happy all the time. And when things make a turn for the worse, I guess that’s when you just have to accept that things have to end no matter how hard it is--even if it means having to force yourself to be strong.

I know all of you Cosmo girls out there know a thing or two about breakups and how to deal with them. Share your thoughts on what to do when going through a breakup and maybe it will help my dear friend ease her heartache just by reading about how you’ve dealt with yours.

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