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Writer Live-Tweets A Couple's Painful, Terrible First Date

"People tell me I look like James Franco."

Anne Thériault, a writer from Toronto, happened to be a witness to what was probably one of the worst dates in the history of romance and the results are pretty hilarious. Thériault told Mashable she decided to document the date on Twitter because " this guy was every hilarious stereotype about sad, self-involved writers come to life."

She is not exaggerating.

It gets worse, though.

What woman doesn't want a man who ignores her and is condescending about coffee. (Hey, at least he looks like James Franco!)

Here's where I would climb out of a window to get away from this date:

Yes, can't wait to try your shitty puttanesca sauce.

This is the nail in the coffin:

So the next time you feel sorry for yourself because you're alone watching Legally Blonde 2 on a Saturday night, remember this: At least you're not on a date with that guy.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.