This must be the nth entry you've read about weight on this site, but I feel that I should write one too, since I used to be fat. And I don't mean that in an I'm-actually-a-size-six-but-everyday-feels-like-a-fat-day kind of way. At one point in my life, I was two pounds shy of the two hundred-pound mark. At 5'5", my torso looked a lot like a tree trunk.
Being obese pretty much caught me unawares. The summer before I started high school, our entire family went to the States for a month, then my dad and I toured Europe for another month. I remember weighing myself before I left the Philippines, and I weighed 140 lbs. I was about 13 at that time, so you can say that I've always been pretty heavy.
That vacation felt like one big binge as I made sure to try all the different kinds of food from the different European countries. I weighed 180 lbs. by the time I got back to the Philippines. You'd think I'd be shocked, but I took it all in stride. I remember thinking that there are a lot of people who are bigger than I am, so I can still afford to indulge. Besides, I was in an all-girls school, so I never really felt the need to be conscious about my weight.
About three months before prom, my friends and I decided to weigh ourselves for fun. I had unconsciously gained 18 lbs and hit my all-time high by then. I didn't really care, but since I scored a date with my crush (imagine that), I wanted to not be bigger than him when we stood next to each other for pictures, so I lost 20 lbs. in a month. Since then, I teetered between 170 lbs. and 180 lbs., but I couldn't be bothered to put myself through the rigorous discipline required for weight loss.
Three years later, I had my first big heartbreak. I remember feeling so crappy then that I couldn't even eat. All I wanted to do was cry and sleep. Two weeks of that and I lost 15 lbs. Three months later, I was down to 143 lbs. It was then that I felt the difference between my old body and the new one I could barely recognize.
I was surprised to know I had cheekbones and relieved that I could finally cross my legs. Also, for the first time in sooo many years, I could actually see my toes and my thighs were no longer rubbing against each other whenever I walked. While I enjoyed the feeling of a semi-flat stomach, I was grumpy and emotional from hunger. Even worse, I wanted to keep starving myself so I could be thinner.
It's been five years since the Big Slimming Of Twenty-Oh-Four. Our Managing Editor Sam and I drafted a contract for a weight race sometime last week, so I had to weigh myself this morning to find out what I need to work with. I currently weigh 160 lbs., but I wasn't alarmed. Sam and I just laughed about how silly the whole idea really is.
I realized that to start losing weight and stick to a regimen, I'd have to make it a fun experience. If I take it too seriously, I'd just end up obsessing too much and finding ways to speed up the process (like crash dieting). Having Sam around helps because we'd talk about our little dieting triumphs and food failures throughout the day.
As much as I'd like to say that it worked for both of us, it's still too early to tell. I'm just thankful for the resolve to have a healthier lifestyle, and I pray for the discipline to let go of old habits. All in all, I think it's a good place to start. Baby steps.