To All The Boys I've Loved Before

Here are some of the things I've always wanted to say to you but never got the chance to...
by Cara Gonzalez
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Thank you for making me (really) happy.

We once lived in our own little bubble of bliss, and I am beyond thankful for the happiness you and I had together. Your corny jokes gave me abs from laughter. Your surprises kept me on my toes. Your words gave me comfort. Your kisses lingered 'til the next. Your love kept me safe. It all seems like a distant memory now, but at one point in my life with you, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

I’m sorry things didn’t work out.

It could have been on you; it could have been on me. We were probably both at fault. I loved you with all my heart, so when things didn’t work out, it really, really sucked. Maybe we could have tried harder. Maybe we could have been kinder. But all these maybes don’t matter anymore. We tried, but life just had better plans for us.

Moving on is easier said than done.

That three-month rule Popoy was so adamant about? It’s bullshit. Moving on from what we had is going to take a lifetime. Don’t get me wrong—I’m over you and I’m glad we’re moving along separately. Sure, there are still times when I suddenly miss you, but that’s the thing about "moving on": It’s a long and messy one-way road we’re all traveling. We walk, we stumble, we sprint, and we fall, but we continue to move in the same direction: forward. Moving on is a process I’m learning so much from, and I hope you are enjoying the process as much as I do.

I hope you and I are exactly where we want to be.

Let’s be honest: we are better off now than when we were together. We needed to break up so we could grow up (wise words from Derek Ramsay in One More Chance). I hope that you are the best version of yourself now, or at least on the right path to being the great guy you’re destined to be. There’s nothing I would like more for you than to be genuinely happy.

...And when our paths cross again, things will be different.

It’s always hard to imagine life without the person you once loved most. I look forward to the day that you and I cross paths again. Maybe when that time comes, you and I can start anew...or maybe not. Maybe you and I can even be friends...or maybe not. But whatever happens, I hope that when we meet again, you and I will be different. That way, loving you would be more of a lesson learned rather than a mistake.

Loving you always (just in a different way),
Cosmo Girl

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