Admitting To Loving Matt

Posted on November 28, 2009 12:00 am by Veronica

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It started with caring, actually. I care for Matt...even if...even if...even if I don’t want to anymore; even if my brain tells me that I’m no different from the swarm of girls I’ve labeled as stupid; even if I’ve told myself over and over that I would never ever think about him again; even if I erased him from my friends list in all my social pages (right after that movie screening fiasco), mobile phone, and YM; and even if I actually considered burning the jacket he left with me during our first date, as a symbol of a much-needed closure.

But I’ve been through this many times, this on and off flirting game with Matt, that I almost thought he’s on auto-flirt mode. Like relationships, it’s something that’s both familiar and trivial to me, and just like anything that requires repeating, there are good runs and bad runs: his sudden shifts of auras, his constant and fleeting emotions.

A good run means there are moments when I feel like he likes me too. Well, he confessed that he likes me, right? It would have been simple and safe then to just be content with that, but a part of me longed for something more while my brain screamed at me to back out.

Sometimes, I tell myself that coming clean would only complicate things and that whatever it is between the two of us could...would...hopefully be clear in time. That for now, I should just keep my emotions at bay...

But I fell in love.

Hard.

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Tags: girlfriend,boyfriend,heartache,confusion,heartbreak,love advice,love problems,love woes,dating,couple,relationship,Matt,veronica,bedroom blog,in love,rejection,closure,getting over

29 Comments

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• 
  ladytoni
  29. ouch.. sobra akong naka relate dito ah....
  November 02, 2010 at 07:02 pm report abuse
• 
  itsmeangel
  28. i agree..play your game right.. ;)
  July 20, 2010 at 04:47 pm report abuse
• 
  sassy_g21
  27. "maunang mainlove talo" situation... V should have been a better player
  June 01, 2010 at 11:33 pm report abuse
• 
  YouMe
  26. I agree with lavfifth
  May 12, 2010 at 12:22 pm report abuse
• 
  lavfifth
  25. You can love someone without realizing that it was only you who is caring..
  April 28, 2010 at 09:39 am report abuse
• 
  quen
  24. i so can relate...
  April 20, 2010 at 09:54 pm report abuse
• ur hotness21
  23. i'm taking the same road...its so hard..its too painful.. hayst..
  April 08, 2010 at 05:27 pm report abuse
• angel ♥
  22. same story with you.. :( but im convincing myself not to fall for him..i do resist that kind of feeling. :( as for me..i should know how to play any game right.. i dont want to be hurt..
  March 22, 2010 at 10:54 am report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  21. Accepting means realizing what you've done.
  March 08, 2010 at 06:42 am report abuse
• 
  handpaintedsky
  20. falling hard. very hard, i think. :)
  February 07, 2010 at 09:10 am report abuse
• 
  shirleylim26
  19. It's nice to know that you know what you're doing with yourself V.
  February 06, 2010 at 01:38 pm report abuse
• 
  donnaportia
  18. There goes V.. Love and stupidity almost always go together.
  February 02, 2010 at 09:48 pm report abuse
• 
  fishbowl84
  17. when you're hit, you're hit. you can't really control it.
  January 30, 2010 at 08:48 pm report abuse
• 
  joyfulmom
  16. sounds like my gal pal, so in love with a man, who's not worth loving.
  January 29, 2010 at 05:07 pm report abuse
• 
  miss_techylicious
  15. yes you'll love him. simpatiko sya eh and he has this good way to let you feel good din about yourself. :)
  January 27, 2010 at 10:09 pm report abuse
• 
  len9
  14. you cant convince yourself to stop loving a person no matter how hard you try to use your head over the situation.. i feel for v.
  January 23, 2010 at 02:04 pm report abuse
• 
  jhe_1212
  13. Hello, why not ask him how he feels for you?
  January 11, 2010 at 01:06 pm report abuse
• Daphne
  12. Hi Veronica, i understand how you feel coz were in the same shoe... Sigh....
  January 10, 2010 at 03:15 am report abuse
• 
  summerinparis128
  11. No matter how u try to avoid Matt,since u love him,u will always care for him,there are times that u will think about him and u can't stop urself feeling so right when w/ him though there are times that he let u down.
  January 09, 2010 at 06:51 am report abuse
• 
  chinky_baguette
  10. whew!
  December 26, 2009 at 05:04 pm report abuse
• ina
  9. I really, really, really love your blog veronica! :D
  November 30, 2009 at 08:33 pm report abuse
• :)
  8. where's the next entry?
  November 30, 2009 at 03:24 pm report abuse
• mitch
  7. To Ms. Veronica: I really love your blog! You write about the things that really happen to real girls like us. Keep up the good work!
  November 29, 2009 at 08:41 pm report abuse
• 
  malditcha87
  6. I read all your post and it was really great. I feel every your emotions and I hope you find what your heart is longing for.
  November 29, 2009 at 06:03 pm report abuse
• Patty
  5. Well atleast now you know that you really, really love him :)
  November 29, 2009 at 02:48 pm report abuse
• Honey121
  4. Hayz...
  November 29, 2009 at 12:52 pm report abuse
• 
  sexy_ilokana
  3. sigh..... been there, done that.. i survived... and I wanna thank god for that..
  November 29, 2009 at 09:28 am report abuse
• 
  toughgurl
  2. But I fell in love. Hard. **sigh.
  November 29, 2009 at 01:22 am report abuse
• nicky
  1. Im feelin' u V.
  November 28, 2009 at 02:34 pm report abuse

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