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Still, it consumed me.

The bridge just kept burning.

I couldn't get it to fall down and burn to ashes for the first and last time.

I know that it's immature. I know that it had been 12 years. Nicia was shocked to hear all the things I said because it never occurred to her that I had been keeping all that anger inside for years. She told me to grow up, that we're not in high school anymore. I wanted to tell her to heed her own advice, grow up, and treat people the way they should be treated--starting with her ex-boyfriend, whom she treated like a dog for five years.

Wait, lightning just struck me. I had almost forgotten that I had treated Logan badly...maybe not in the same way, but you know the saying: "Linisin mo muna ang sarili mong bakuran..."

But no, I threw that thought aside because I was still burning with so much hatred.

"No wonder he left you," I told Nicia more than once.

In fairness to her, she did say that it doesn't matter who your best friend is, and that friendship isn't really defined by who you call your best friend, especially at our age.

"She has a point," Logan said over coffee one day when I went to work at the coffee shop in The Venice Piazza.

"Let me put it this way," I replied, setting my coffee down for a while. "Bim has been your best friend since grade school, right? And he considers and openly calls you his best friend even today?"

"Yes," Logan answered, waiting for the punch line.

"How would you feel if Bim suddenly called someone else his best friend?" I asked. "How would you feel if Bim never bothered to explain why?"

"You have a point," he conceded.

Sure, friendship goes beyond who you call your best friend but...but...it matters to me. It's a big deal to me! Yes, Nicia and I have been through so much that we've both proven our loyalty to each other. But still...it matters to me. It matters so much that I never had the courage to openly call another person "best friend" because I'm scared that if I do, he or she would do what Nicia did.

Honestly, that should have been enough. But then, the anger kept talking...

"Gail has nothing to do with this!" I yelled at her. "This fight is between us alone. The moment I find out that you drag her into this and make her choose sides--because God knows I don't do that--I will come after you with everything I've got."

The claws are finally out.

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Related Blog Entries

• Epilogue: What Sam Taught Me
• Fair-Weather Friends
• F.O. (Friendship Over)
• What Went Wrong With Nicia?
• Scenes Of Revenge

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