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BEDROOM BLOG BY VERONICA

Love & Lust > Bedroom Blog by Veronica

Ending Of Chapter One: Another Shot At Happiness

Posted on January 29, 2010 12:00 am by Veronica
Photo: "Moulin Rouge" courtesy of 20th Century Fox

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I had dinner with my old friend Mia. Over fish and tofu we talked about the years that had passed; how a part of us is still stuck in the past and how we find it very hard to move on. I told her that wallowing is somewhat therapeutic. Wallowing makes me feel honest to myself. There’s a sense of comfort in knowing that even if it makes no sense to other people, you know for yourself that you are being completely true.

But you know what she said that helped me get Matt behind me for good?

“Kung wala nang chance for happiness, why would you choose to stay in the past? Malulungkot ka lang.”

Matt was a sad soul...a miserable, pathetic asshole. Yet I loved him. What I felt for him was, by far, the strongest feeling I’ve ever felt. What I felt when I was so in love with him was both delightful and miserable that it made and ruined me at the same time. It took more than guts and time to finally say that I can let him go. He would always be a part of me as bits and pieces of an old, old memory.

With Matt, I learned that you can’t change people. I learned that you can’t force on people what you want them to feel. I learned that love is about accepting people as they are and that love can’t be forced. I learned that love is about jumping off the cliff with your eyes closed. And that love is not an exchange gift.

I also learned the art of being on the go, going after your dreams, writing down everything and nothing on paper. Lastly, I realized that the Moulin Rouge line holds true, that the best thing we’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Mia is right. There’s no chance for me to stay in the past. So, with both of us single and unattached, we raised our glasses and toasted.

“Here’s to another shot at happiness!” Mia cheered.

After dinner at Mandarin Wok, we hugged and promised to see each other soon. Before I left the restaurant, my phone rang, and the screen displayed a familiar name. I answered on the 10th ring just to annoy him.

“Why do you have to eat at a place with no parking?” he asked, with traces of irritation in his voice.

“Parking’s not my problem,” I retorted. “You shouldn’t have bought a brand new car then.”

He laughed his beautiful laugh. “Bitch ka pa rin,” he laughed. “Nasa labas na ako. Antayin na lang kita.”

And there he was, his long curly hair tied in a loose ponytail. He was wearing his standard shirt, pants, and Chuck Taylors. As I got closer, the grin on his face became more evident. He smelled of burnt wood, earth, and musk.

“So did you get the job?” he asked.

“Have I ever failed a job interview?” I grinned.

“Confident, ah!”

“Hahaha! You’re looking at the new copywriter of a big advertising agency!”

“Congrats V!” he hugged me. “I’ve always known you could do it!”

Yes, dear readers. The months following my heartbreak, I worked on my career. I finally decided to try and spread my wings in a much bigger sky and applied for a copywriting job in Quezon City.

“I’m still hungry,” I whined. “Libre mo ako!”

“Feeling mo ah,” he said amused. “Actually, the guys and I prepared a little dinner for you back at the restaurant para just in case they turned you down, may makakain ka pa! Hahaha!”

“Loko kayo ah!”

“Joke lang,” he said as he put his arms around my shoulders. “Come on, I cooked your favorite three-cheese omelet.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

END OF CHAPTER ONE
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Tags: bedroom blog,veronica,Matt,Sam,heartbreak,heartache,love,relationship,unrequited love,Moulin Rouge,moving on

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