In this issue:
Cover Story: ANNE CURTIS
15 MEN ON FIRE
15th ANNIVERSARY Special!

BEDROOM BLOG BY VERONICA

Love & Lust > Bedroom Blog by Veronica

"Goodbye, Sam"

Posted on May 22, 2010 12:00 am by Veronica
Photo: from "An Education" courtesy of Sony Pictures Classics

Print Email
052210M.jpg 

"But I wish you didn't, Sam," I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I wish you didn't let me be wrong," I said, trying to keep my tears at bay as hundreds of vivid memories came crashing down on me in one go. Memories that broke and made me. Memories that still hurt.

"I wish you were there, Sam!" I cried. "I wish you didn't let me be wrong and be crazy! I wish you were there to tell me what a mess I was! I wish you didn't let me write that stupid blog! I wish you didn't let me be so stupid! I wish you did for me what I'm doing for you now! I wish you looked after me, Sam! I needed help! I needed you that time! I wish you had my back, like you promised!"

"But you weren't there, Sam," I added softly. "Where were you when I was such a wreck?"

"I had to go somewhere, Veronica," he said quietly, trying to avoid my gaze. "I'm sorry if you feel that way, but I can't be there all the time. You can't, too. I know you don't understand why I still talked to Ana after everything that happened. I don't expect you to understand because I know that in your world, what she did is mortal sin. But this isn't about you, V. This is about me. I'm the one who feels whatever it is I feel for her, not you."

"Can't you give Ana another chance?" Sam asked.

"I already gave her that chance, Sam," I said while looking straight at his face. "And she blew it."

We were quiet after that.

I looked around. Everything was perfect—the entire restaurant was bathed in soft candlelight, the delicious smell of gourmet beef stroganoff wafted in front of us, the slices of world-class cheese sat on the side, and that dark red, bittersweet liquid that caught the light made everything look surreal.

Everything's perfect, I thought. How come I feel so sick?

Sam broke the silence.

"Maybe I'm making the worst decision of my life," Sam said after what felt like an eternity. "Maybe I'm making a bigger fool of myself. But that's for me to decide. I'll think of a way to handle the consequences later. You can't decide for me, Veronica. I'm sorry."

"You…" I started when his words hit me. "Are you choosing between her and me?!"

"I can't change you, Veronica," he said sadly. "You've always been stubborn from the very start."

I couldn't believe what was happening. After all the things that Sam and I went through, after all the gossip that made our friendship stronger, after all the stories, the laughter, the adventures, and the heartbreaks, someone like Ana would break one of the strongest friendships I had ever known.

I had lost him.

"Sam, do you remember the time I left some candles burning overnight?"

"Yeah," Sam chucked lightly at the memory. "I woke up to your high-pitched screaming because your bed sheet caught fire. Naka-panty at t-shirt ka nga lang noon e. Sa sobrang taranta mo, nawala lahat ng kaartehan mo sa katawan."

"Or how about the time na nagka-trangkaso ka?" I asked. "Remember, I made you sopas that time? Kaso nasunog ko kasi na-distract ako ng Gossip Girl? You ended up eating Lucky Me."

"Yeah," Sam replied. "I remember."

"How about the time that I offered to buy a Praning Kit para sa girlfriend mo dati? Or 'yung time na naglakad tayo sa kahabaan ng Dela Rosa sa Makati to visit Cary sa office niya tapos I cried all the way back? Tapos we stayed sa car ko, my head on the steering wheel, tapos 'di mo alam gagawin mo? Naalala mo 'yung time na tumama 'yung ulo ko sa plate ng mojos tapos kinaladkad n'yo ako sa Starbucks kasi sobrang lasing 'ko?"

"How can I forget, Veronica?" Sam laughed wholeheartedly now. "Napagkamalan akong barista ng tatay mo 'di ba? He tipped me 50 bucks. Sinulat mo kaya 'yun sa blog mo tapos nabasa ng buong opisina, pati nung mga bosing sa California."

I laughed with him. "Yeah, hiyang-hiya ka nga e," I said.

When our laughter died down, I finally asked:

"Do you remember when you said we would always have each other's back?"

"Veronica, please."

"I just want to know that you haven't forgotten, Sam," I cut in. "That's all. I can't change how you feel, too, but I can't back down. My pride can't give what you're asking of me, Sam. It's just too much. If this is what you want—if you choose her over me—no matter how it sucks, no matter how you suck, I just have to deal with it, right? Masaya ka naman 'di ba? 'Di ba? I don't have your back anymore, Sam. Have Ana look after you, because I won't be doing those things anymore."

No matter how many times I look back and relive that moment, I can't think of any other way I could have handled it other than the way that I did.

So this is how breaking up with your best friend feels like, I thought. It hurts like hell.

That was the price I had to pay for being a good friend.

The next day, I left the condo.

Rating:

out of 5  Number of Votes: |

Print | Email

Tags: Sam,Ana,break up,friendship

48 Comments

Add A Comment

    Security Image

Advertisements

Follow
us on:

POPULAR IN LOVE & LUST

RECEIVE COSMO.PH WEEKLY!

Join thousands of subscribers enjoying our fab weekly Wednesday sendouts, and get EXCLUSIVE celeb news, tips, and promos right in your inbox.