BEDROOM BLOG BY VERONICA
Having The Liberty To Hate
Posted on December 12, 2011 12:00 am by
Veronica
Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures ("Young Adult")

Nicia just went through a terrible breakup, and like every other time, I supported her, defended her, nursed her back to sanity, and told her the cruel truth she wouldn't hear from anyone else in her circles: "You're with a habitual cheater! So why, why, why are you even surprised that he cheated on you?!"
Why? Because no one else in her crowd would ever have the guts to do what I always do and say what I can.
We hardly talked to each other after she said "friendship over." A part of me knows that somehow, she didn't mean it--it's only a matter of time before one of us calls, and we'll soon go back to rallying against her cheater of an ex. Just like we always do.
But one night, the past caught up with me. All the terrible things Nicia did to me since high school--the hot and cold treatment, the only-there-when-she-needs-you attitude, and the habit of leaving me in mid-air--surfaced, and all the anger and hurt that I thought dissolved over the years came thundering down.
One morning, I let her have it. I told her everything that I wasn't able to tell her 12 years ago.
"I don't need you to call me ‘best friend' again," I told Nicia. "I don't even hate you for not being my best friend to this day. I just hate you for not offering an explanation. It would have been so different if only you apologized years ago.
"For 12 whole years, I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. I was there for you during your first real heartbreak--where were you when I had mine? Oh, I remember! We were at my slumber party at Crowne Plaza. I was spewing my guts about Matt while you and Gail kept texting your boyfriends in front of me. Did you even wonder why I didn't bother to talk about that with you again?!
"I don't know if we'll ever be okay again because honestly, I'm starting to feel that I'm better off without you and your insensitivity. All I know is I don't want to talk to you. Twelve years ago, I lost my best friend without knowing it. So now, 12 years in the making, I'm making you feel the consequences of what you have done: I'm making you feel how much you just lost. I've chosen to do what I failed to do 12 years ago: I choose to give myself the liberty to hate you."
And for the nth time, I told her, "Friendship over."
And for the first time, I meant it.
Tags: best friend,friendship,high school,adulthood,teenager,over,resentment,hate,scorned,issues,BFF
5 Comments
Add A Comment
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5. Give her a lesson she won't forget! Sampalin mo!
December 25, 2011 at 01:46 am report abuse -
4. you are just giving her lesson V
December 13, 2011 at 01:02 pm report abuse -
3. aww...I remember my bestfriend back in grade school...we grew apart nung high school cause she focused on studying and I focused on getting popular and I eventually got closer to my "more popular" friends :(
December 12, 2011 at 06:14 pm report abuse -
2. Masakit mawalan ng friend pero mas masakit mawalan ng dignity! I applaud you, V, for standing up for you believe in.
December 12, 2011 at 10:30 am report abuse -
1. sad..sometimes it's even harder to lost a friend than a boyfriend. especially if you've known each other for 12 years...i hope she'll get to her senses and realize what a valuable friend she have in you.
December 12, 2011 at 12:14 am report abuse
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