How Matt Scares Me

Posted on January 12, 2010 12:00 am by Veronica
Photo: "Brokeback Mountain" courtesy of Focus Features

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Silence could mean a lot of things.

I was really determined to not text Matt and just get on with my life without waiting for him because that’s what I’ve set out to do in the first place. But my marshmallow heart and insatiable curiosity got the best of me. During my walk along Ayala Avenue, I texted him:

V: Hi Matt! Did you read the entire blog na?

Matt: Yes and I asked you to delete it. That borders on intrusion.

I was in front of the SGV Building when I felt my blood rush to my face. My blood pressure skyrocketed and my fists turned a scary shade of blue. Tears burned my eyes as I made my way toward the FX terminal and tried not to cry inside the damned vehicle.

That night, I decided to give up. The first person I called was Aldrich.

“I give up, Aldrich,” I said, crying over the phone. “He said that blog bordered on intrusion. He’s not normal. He scares me already!”

“He said that?” Aldrich asked. “It borders on intrusion?”

“Yes.”

“Well, Matt is a very private guy,” Aldrich explained. “In fact, when he was with Stacy, we hardly saw her. And he even asked her to cancel her online accounts. When he has a girl, he morphs into this over-protective, cloak-and-dagger, feeling artista, psychotic jackass. I mean, he’s my friend and all, but there are times when I really just don’t get his drift.”

Matt’s words caught me off guard. I didn’t expect him to tell me bluntly that what I wrote was a form of attack on his privacy. I know he’s a private person, that’s why I didn’t share the URL with anybody except Aldrich, as a form of insurance policy. And that’s why I set the blog’s settings to private, too. Not even Google could find it.

I felt it was all for nothing.

Matt’s mood swings aren’t normal. That’s not how a normal guy thinks and acts. Not only did he hurt me real bad, he scared me, too. That guy is a wacko and I don’t want to take part in his craziness anymore.

It’s true then: there will come a time when you’ll just get tired of chasing everything. It’s not giving up. It’s just that you’ve finally realized you don’t deserve this kind of treatment.

Tags: bedroom blog,veronica,Matt,sadness,heartbreak,heartache,love,relationship,dating,unrequited love,blog,blogging,hurt

49 Comments

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• 
  sassy_g21
  49. see he's a gemini my ex is also like that... he's weird! i wanted me ba nmn to delete everything even my phone contacts and he always browse my phone as if i'm gonna hide something! weird tlga sila and very temperamental.. verbally abusive pa si matt grr i remeber my ex i went miserable too because of him. But now it's also over. Thank GOD!
  June 02, 2010 at 03:40 am report abuse
• 
  eieioow
  48. matt is so harsh i hate him.... u deserve someone else gurl...i think u should stop all the crazy things u did for matt... its not worth it. =)
  May 17, 2010 at 10:55 pm report abuse
• 
  lavfifth
  47. here will come a time when you’ll just get tired of chasing everything..very TRUE..
  May 09, 2010 at 06:11 am report abuse
• 
  Mr. J
  46. yeah right!you don't deserve this kind of treatment v.its time to let go of matt!he doesn't care about your feelings.he is so pathetic.
  May 04, 2010 at 10:00 am report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  45. Sam is there for you naman.
  March 31, 2010 at 07:07 pm report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  44. Nakakatakot to ng si MAtt.
  March 31, 2010 at 07:06 pm report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  43. Grabe naman si Matt! He does not have the right to hurt you that way!
  March 08, 2010 at 07:05 am report abuse
• 
  milaniecandido
  42. Silence could mean a lot of things.
  February 08, 2010 at 10:40 pm report abuse
• 
  handpaintedsky
  41. matt is sick. he should be institutionalized..
  February 07, 2010 at 10:35 am report abuse
• 
  shirleylim26
  40. He is so scary. Matt is insensitive and selfish. I hate him really.
  February 07, 2010 at 12:25 am report abuse
• 
  joyfulmom
  39. get on with your life.
  February 03, 2010 at 02:38 pm report abuse
• 
  donnaportia
  38. Yes! Time will come and you'll realize how tiring it is to be treated like dirt. There has to be a point where enough is enough.
  February 02, 2010 at 10:29 pm report abuse
• 
  fishbowl84
  37. i agree with aldrich on this one: When he has a girl, he morphs into this over-protective, cloak-and-dagger, feeling artista, psychotic jackass.
  January 30, 2010 at 09:44 pm report abuse
• 
  shirleylim26
  36. A guy has no right to hurt woman's feelings. Just do what makes you happy. Just keep on writing.
  January 27, 2010 at 02:44 pm report abuse
• 
  miss_techylicious
  35. yah sis, control freak sya...
  January 25, 2010 at 11:19 am report abuse
• 
  prettylass8831
  34. Just give up on Matt. There are other fish in the sea.
  January 24, 2010 at 03:38 pm report abuse
• 
  len9
  33. YEAH! move on v! :)
  January 23, 2010 at 02:54 pm report abuse
• same.same
  32. tama! tama! kalimtn n yang jerk n yan..
  January 19, 2010 at 08:43 pm report abuse
• Honey121
  31. 31. Si sam nalang kasi talaga...where is he anyway?
  January 19, 2010 at 11:13 am report abuse
• saintsinner
  30. guys is this the same as what she wrote in her blog?
  January 13, 2010 at 11:09 pm report abuse
• 
  myles_away
  29. go for SAM... he love you V! it's obvious! don't settle to the person who care less... SAM is a good catch! hihi (kilig)
  January 13, 2010 at 04:24 pm report abuse
• 
  hazelnutzy
  28. OMG. I feel the same way. You know when all your efforts have been spent up already and you just have to stop because spinning in that feeling is not worth it anymore. :(
  January 13, 2010 at 03:03 pm report abuse
• 
  jhinggay19
  27. you rea;;y don't deserve that..yeah, matt is a wacko..move on V!
  January 13, 2010 at 12:51 pm report abuse
• 
  laranessfabella
  26. move on... go! go! go!
  January 13, 2010 at 09:51 am report abuse
• 
  rose17
  25. Move on to the next guy. :)
  January 13, 2010 at 07:49 am report abuse
• 
  miss_techylicious
  24. i here you. you dont deserve him anyway. you deserve someone who'll love you more. forget matt.
  January 12, 2010 at 11:29 pm report abuse
• wafalways
  23. forget matt..move on!!!
  January 12, 2010 at 10:44 pm report abuse
• 
  xannebull
  22. ignore matt, he's not the right guy for you...i think he's not a gentle man
  January 12, 2010 at 08:42 pm report abuse
• 
  toughgurl
  21. move on gurl!=)
  January 12, 2010 at 08:37 pm report abuse
• 
  fishbowl84
  20. it's time to give it up already.. there are a lot of fish in the sea.. more deserving than matt.
  January 12, 2010 at 08:24 pm report abuse
• inlove
  19. i wonder what's next? seriously? enough na ba ung isang umpog? hearts can be too stubborn - dikdikin man nang pinung-pino... bibigay pa rin. looking forward to next blogs. kudos!
  January 12, 2010 at 06:58 pm report abuse
• 
  summerinparis128
  18. It’s true then: there will come a time when you’ll just get tired of chasing everything. It’s not giving up. It’s just that you’ve finally realized you don’t deserve this kind of treatment.-AT LAST V!very well said/written.
  January 12, 2010 at 04:52 pm report abuse
• monica a.
  17. FINALLY! :D
  January 12, 2010 at 04:22 pm report abuse
• 
  retz
  16. Hey V, forget Matt. Sam deserves your love.
  January 12, 2010 at 03:37 pm report abuse
• 
  charm1021
  15. correct adolina... team SAM! yahoo! V, dont worry... your hero is coming!
  January 12, 2010 at 03:06 pm report abuse
• 
  myles_away
  14. Matt really pissed me off...darn! hahaha He reminds me of someone... GO for SAM!
  January 12, 2010 at 03:03 pm report abuse
• 
  adolina
  13. TEAM SAM!!
  January 12, 2010 at 01:52 pm report abuse
• kimilicious
  12. oh matt, you are so weird. Stop chasing him V. you're just wasting all your efforts na hindi naman naaapreciate ni Matt. Matt is so duwag. You really dont deserve him. Move on girl.
  January 12, 2010 at 01:31 pm report abuse
• 
  yanipot
  11. Moment of epiphany! What he said was very hurtful. But I'm glad (I think we all are) that it led you to see things a lot more clearly. Good for you, V! You're right, you deserve better than the way he's been treating you.
  January 12, 2010 at 12:56 pm report abuse
• mics
  10. finally v!!! u deserve a better guy namely sam!!! hahaha
  January 12, 2010 at 12:54 pm report abuse
• patty_15
  9. Team Sam!
  January 12, 2010 at 10:19 am report abuse
• 
  jhe_1212
  8. Sa wakas, naumpog ka din!!! :D
  January 12, 2010 at 10:19 am report abuse
• Honey121
  7. Team Sam ako!
  January 12, 2010 at 10:16 am report abuse
• unabanana
  6. TEAM SAM!!!!
  January 12, 2010 at 10:11 am report abuse
• 
  amie1985
  5. this somehow reminds me of adele's "chasing pavements"
  January 12, 2010 at 10:05 am report abuse
• 
  amie1985
  4. maumpog ka na sana sa katotohanan :)
  January 12, 2010 at 10:04 am report abuse
• 
  myles_away
  3. yes, u don't deserve that kind of treatment... move on girl!
  January 12, 2010 at 06:14 am report abuse
• 
  cybercrash
  2. it's time to move on V..
  January 12, 2010 at 04:06 am report abuse
• mayan
  1. Enough is truly enough V
  January 12, 2010 at 12:44 am report abuse

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