I Ask Too Much Of Him

Posted on October 14, 2011 12:00 am by Veronica
Photo: Courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures ("500 Days Of Summer")

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"I know you don't understand," I said after a while. "I know that what I'm asking of you is difficult and stupid and crazy, but I know myself. I need to do this on my own."

"Yes, I know, but I don't want to break up with you," said Logan.

"But, I already feel like I'm cheating, and it's unfair to be with you while my mind is elsewhere."

"Yes, I know," he sighed. "But, I don't want to break up with you because if I break up with someone, that's it--there's no turning back. No reconciliation. Hindi na kita babalikan."

Wow. That was harsh.

"Gan'on?" I asked.

"Oo, gan'on," he replied. "That's how I roll."

It was almost funny. I would have laughed at his "That's how I roll" line. I wanted to, but I stopped myself because if I laughed, that would be it. If I laughed, he would laugh, then we would laugh, and we would forget about the whole thing. So, I stood my ground. I brought up this mess, and I intended to clean it.

"Cool off, pwede?" I asked sheepishly.

"I don't do cool off," he declared.

"So ano'ng gagawin natin?"

His eyebrows twitched and we were silent for a while. I know for a fact that I'm asking for the wrong things from the wrong people. I'm asking him for a breakup with no arguments to support it. There are no third parties, no unforgivable curses, and no irreconcilable differences. Just the fact that I seem to be falling for someone I haven't seen in ages, someone who clearly doesn't even think of me, someone who isn't even here, someone who might not even remember me.

My only argument is this: I'm in love with a very strong memory.

Tags: problems,boyfriend,argument,issues,memory,cool off,relationships,breakup

7 Comments

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• 
  kaycee XD
  7. That's one very valid argument. It's gonna be hard to understand but I hope you make him understand soon. You are like a flashback of my life one-two years ago. I hope you sort this all out. :) Good luck dear..
  October 25, 2011 at 08:50 pm report abuse
• 
  d3n1c3
  6. Me too! If I break-up with someone, that's it. Hehe pero I learned that in a very hurtful way. :)
  October 15, 2011 at 07:32 pm report abuse
• 
  maloupedroso
  5. waaaaahhhh, it was long catching up!! i devoted my day by reading the parts ive missed, which I think closely to a year :( Missing In action ako :-( still the same ang entry, mysterious, funny, friendship, love, and MATT. ang swerte naman nitong MATT na to, nag aasksaya ka ng brain cell sa kanya. heheheh..
  October 15, 2011 at 12:52 am report abuse
• 
  madzzz000
  4. Try reading Closing Cycles by Paulo Coelho. It's an essay. It's really good. And I think it can help you. :)
  October 14, 2011 at 11:57 pm report abuse
• 
  christinebusalpa
  3. Let go of that old memories...You have created new and lots with Logan un na lang itreasure mo..let go please...
  October 14, 2011 at 01:16 pm report abuse
• 
  rowtz2004
  2. just let go of the past... and all will be fine...
  October 14, 2011 at 11:01 am report abuse
• 
  michelee
  1. You might wanna read this or maybe you have read this V, Dead Stars by Paz Marquez Benitez. Just like you, I've had hard times letting go of memories, but what if we're just "seeing the light of dead stars, long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed places in the heavens"
  October 14, 2011 at 09:06 am report abuse

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