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Somewhere inside of me, there was this tiny voice that kept screaming at me to call him already--call and ask where the hell he was. But the bigger part of me, my pride, told me to wait until he called first. Hayaan mo siyang mauna, my pride said. Remember what happened before. Don't let history hit you in the face again.

So I waited...

Then I waited some more.

And when I thought I couldn't have waited any longer, I still waited.

I knew even then that I was starting to look more and more pathetic by the minute, standing there in front of Greenbelt 3 Cinemas, doing nothing for the past 30 minutes or so. When my watch read 9:30PM, I decided to eat at that Indian restaurant nearby.

I took my time eating my order of Spicy Crab Fry, sitting there all alone at my table for one. While I don't have anything against people who dine alone, I definitely wasn't crazy about the fact that in my lagpas-na-sa-mid-20s stage, there I was, dining alone at a single's table, surrounded by more couples than I could even count.

No, I had no problem being surrounded by couples. It was just that...I couldn't help but hate myself for how far my obsession with Matt had taken me. I could have been with Logan tonight. We could have been sharing dessert at some pastry shop in TriNoma or enjoying a play at RCBC with some friends. Hell, we could have been in Red Box hoarding the microphones with his siblings or dining at some fancy restaurant with my family.

But no, Logan and I weren't together tonight because I chose to be craaazy. I chose to be stubborn. I chose to act up again and, as others would say, I chose to be stupid.

I chose to be here.

All alone.

Dining alone with my passion.

Indulging in my obsession.

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