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My world is spinning like crazy. So maybe that's why I don't reflect anymore; it's just like that one time I didn't write my traditional year-ender reflection post. Normally, I spend the last afternoon of the year in front of the computer, sipping wine, and writing down my thoughts, recollections, and regrets for the year that's about to close. But then one time, I realized that I spent too much time in reflection (no wonder I was able to write THAT MUCH about Matt).

So starting that year, I told myself not to wallow on past mistakes, not to waste energy and time on useless things like over-analyzing what went wrong in my past relationships, and not slashing my wrists for bad decisions I have made so far in my life. What's the point, really? What's done is done, right? Does bumping your head on the nearest wall take back the hurtful words you've said? No.

When my head cleared, literally and figuratively speaking, my priorities were set in stone and wallowing didn't make the list. I became more of the action figure girlfriend. More action, less musing. I thought that was a good sign, until lately when I realized that I have been fooling myself.

When your love life is out there like mine, it's so easy and so hard to keep the dirty laundry under wraps. It's so easy not to write about it, and when you don't, everyone thinks you have a smooth-sailing relationship. The hard part comes when you're itching to type wall posts that border on murderous. You can't just hit "share" before thinking twice. Posting angry status updates means having to answer queries from friends and family.

It sucks when all your elder relatives are on Facebook—talk to one and the entire clan would know in two day's time and they would all come to the conclusion that you're a wasted, very liberated, very sensational cousin/pamangkin/inaaanak, who brings a different face to family reunions every time. And even when you bring the same boyfriend two reunions in a row, they would pester you with comments like "Aba, siya pa rin ang boyfriend mo ha."

Like I said, it sucks when all your relatives (especially the conservative ones) are on Facebook. It's actually why I killed my Friendster and Twitter. Kainis talaga 'yang social networking sites na 'yan minsan.

But, that's not the reason I keep the dirty laundry under wraps. Oh, we do have those. You see, I'm afraid to admit they're there; I'm even more scared to write about them in detail; and I'm terrified to ask if it's even appropriate to share them online.

But, they don't call it "Bedroom Blog" for nothing. When I signed up for this, I didn't know where it would take me. When Logan asked me to be his girlfriend, well, I guess he had an idea what he was getting himself into. I was already Cosmo.ph's Bedroom Blogger when he met me. So here I am, about to write about what's been happening in real time.

Honestly, I have a love-hate relationship with Logan. There I said it. So here we go…

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