"Maybe This Time"

Posted on December 4, 2010 12:00 am by Veronica
Photo: "Closer," courtesy of Sony Pictures Entertainment

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I learned that she was working in a company in Rufino Towers. It made me think: maybe it was a sign, maybe this time it was going to work. So I tried texting her again, calling her again, and even asking her out to dinner again. That time, I didn’t know if I was making a bigger fool of myself yet again.

But Summer gave me chances. I didn’t know the exact reason she was doing it. Hindi ko alam kung naaawa lang siya sa'kin o gusto lang niyang matigil ang kakulitan ko. Or maybe, as I have wondered over and over, she wanted things to work out again. Everything went smoothly for a while…at least on my side, because all the feelings were still there. They never really left me. But in the end, she never showed me the kind of love I was searching for.

So once and for all, I asked her, “Ano ba'ng ginagawa natin?”

“I want us to be okay, Brix,” she said. “Pero…hindi ibig sabihin nito na makikipagbalikan ako sa'yo.”

All those nights, I really thought that was what she wanted, but in the light of day, she just really wanted us to be friends. Only friends. I felt so stupid. It broke my heart.

I felt helplessness, shame, self-pity, and rage overflowing in me, all at the same time. I was emotionally imbalanced; my delirious state affected my job in the worst way possible for a call center agent--I was suspended for almost two weeks for lashing out at a customer.

After that incident, I quit my job again.

Tags: heartbreak,relationships,summer,Brix

10 Comments

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• 
  chase-r
  10. she really messed you up.
  December 16, 2010 at 02:25 am report abuse
• 
  la_princesse
  9. What's wrong with you??
  December 06, 2010 at 07:28 am report abuse
• 
  hazelnutzy
  8. Ano ba Brix? Kala ko tanga si Lily? Bakit ginagaya mo pa?
  December 04, 2010 at 11:52 pm report abuse
• 
  julia_25
  7. ai, you never learn!:-(
  December 04, 2010 at 02:48 pm report abuse
• 
  quinn aleera
  6. what the heck?!!! not again! oh my! paconfine ka n nga sa mental! joke! hahaha life goes on!
  December 04, 2010 at 01:12 pm report abuse
• 
  ambisiosa
  5. ikaw kazi.. yan tuloy..
  December 04, 2010 at 12:26 pm report abuse
• 
  purplecandy
  4. anu ba brix!! di ka rin masokista eh noh! gusto mo parati nasasaktan...tama na naman..this time please move on and forget about her..it may not be easy but it's for your own good...V please put some sense in his mind...or batukan mo kaya para magiding na...haayyysss...
  December 04, 2010 at 11:52 am report abuse
• 
  malditcha87
  3. Ewan ko sau Brix. Sarap mo suntukin.
  December 04, 2010 at 08:28 am report abuse
• 
  ennairen_18
  2. bagay sayo ung kantang "Fool Again". tama na kasi!
  December 04, 2010 at 07:29 am report abuse
• 
  angel_love_song
  1. sabi sa'yo, brix eh, kalokohan lang yun pakikipag-balikan mo. ang ex ay ex talaga :(
  December 04, 2010 at 04:15 am report abuse

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