Saying Goodbye But Not Leaving

Posted on January 16, 2010 12:00 am by Veronica

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Is it love when you’ve been saying goodbye for so long...yet you still can’t bring yourself to leave? Or is it when you’ve been kicked in the gut way too many times you lost count, and he has hurt you in such a way your friends are offering to kill him for you, and yet...

...you manage to forgive...and love even more.

I’m neither stupid nor blind. I see what my friends see—that he’s the epitome of a total asshole: he’s harsh, difficult, mean, selfish, indecent, self-centered, insensitive to the core, and somehow cursed with both the good and bad sides of being born under the star sign Gemini. But what my friends don’t see is how he can also be thoughtful, sweet, caring, passionate, deep, and driven. And I see these things before I see everything else.

Is this love? I don’t want to ask anybody. I’ve asked the world and they tell me the same thing: forget Matt. But once again, my curiosity won over me.

“Charlie, why do you think Matt started being cold to me?” I asked one day.

“Well,” she started. “It could be any of the following possibilities:

1. He’s gay.
2. He found out you’re not his type.
3. He has a girlfriend.
4. He’s gay.
5. He got bored.
6. He’s really gay.”
   

Okay, noted. It’s best to ask guy friends about these issues. Because when someone breaks a girl’s heart, he automatically becomes gay in your girlfriends’ eyes.

I talked to Denver, an old classmate who also quit law school when he won the Ginoong Pilipinas (Year Deleted) title and settled for starring in Indie Films. I told him about Matt.

“Sino ba naman ang magtitiyagang magbasa ng sandamakmak na blog entries kung ‘di siya interested?” That was his first comment.

“Okay, seriously now,” he continued. “You should have disappeared after you gave him the URL. Baka na-pressure siya o natakot kaya siya tahimik ngayon.”

“Okay, noted,” I replied. “But I still deserve a decent explanation, right?”

“You can’t force a man to explain,” Denver said. “Or maybe you don’t really love him that much. You’re just hurt, like it’s an ego issue, because if you really love the guy, you won’t expect something in return.”

“All I want is an explanation, Denver,” I sighed. “So I can move on.”

“Isn’t his silence an explanation?”

“I don’t know,” I said dejectedly.

“Where’s the fighter in you, Veronica?” Denver asked. “What happened to the bitch who walked out on our Legal Ethics professor, slammed the door, and still managed to get a flat 1?”

“Hahaha, I can’t believe you still remember that.”

“Who wouldn’t?” Den continued. “And I can’t believe you’re letting some asshole who got fired from work beat the legal bitch out of you.”

Photo source

Tags: bedroom blog,veronica,Matt,sadness,heartbreak,heartache,love,relationship,unrequited love,blog,blogging

36 Comments

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• 
  Glads
  36. V! how come there's a limit on the number of blog entries to like?? I really can relate to you and Matt
  October 19, 2010 at 02:21 am report abuse
• 
  itsmeangel
  35. like you Denver! haha
  July 21, 2010 at 11:41 am report abuse
• 
  eieioow
  34. TAMA... =)
  May 17, 2010 at 11:30 pm report abuse
• 
  lavfifth
  33. haha..tama si Denver..girl andami mu ng friends na ngssbing hnd healthy seo si Matt..
  May 09, 2010 at 06:19 am report abuse
• 
  Mr. J
  32. Is it love when you�ve been saying goodbye for so long...yet you still can�t bring yourself to leave?-i think its just an ego v.maybe because u have already given some of the particular part of your humanity to him.that will really make hard for you to leave..:'(
  May 04, 2010 at 10:24 am report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  31. Matt still loves his ex.
  March 31, 2010 at 06:49 pm report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  30. Matt got bored, I guess?!
  March 31, 2010 at 06:48 pm report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  29. Wow, super intelligent V! That's my girl!
  March 08, 2010 at 07:07 am report abuse
• 
  milaniecandido
  28. Saying Goodbye But Not Leaving
  February 08, 2010 at 10:38 pm report abuse
• 
  handpaintedsky
  27. another option: he's still head over hills hung over stacy...
  February 07, 2010 at 10:38 am report abuse
• 
  shirleylim26
  26. You go girl! You're super intelligent pala V. how nice naman. And I think Denver is right. Don't let Matt beat the legal bitch out of you!
  February 07, 2010 at 12:35 am report abuse
• 
  fishbowl84
  25. the veronica chasing matt story is getting old-- and hopeless. yup, letting go and moving on is the next best thing.
  January 30, 2010 at 09:48 pm report abuse
• 
  veronica11
  24. @breakaway: ahha, wow, she would really like that! :) Team Charlie! :)
  January 28, 2010 at 11:40 am report abuse
• 
  shirleylim26
  23. Letting go is just another way to say I always love you so..Maybe you have the right love at the wrong time...
  January 27, 2010 at 02:37 pm report abuse
• 
  breakaway
  22. Team Matt? Team Sam? I say Team Charlie! you're the girl Charlie! i like you sooo much! :D hahaha
  January 26, 2010 at 08:05 pm report abuse
• 
  jhe_1212
  21. 21. Why matt became soo cold? Because you're easy to get V... Guys don't lke that, they like challenges.
  January 26, 2010 at 02:37 pm report abuse
• 
  miss_techylicious
  20. that he�s the epitome of a total asshole = he's a control freak, too. he wants everyone around him hate whoever he hates. very childish.
  January 25, 2010 at 11:10 am report abuse
• 
  prettylass8831
  19. I totally agree that it's hard to say goodbye to a person who you love so much. The feeling is unbearable.
  January 24, 2010 at 09:17 am report abuse
• 
  len9
  18. move on, v.
  January 23, 2010 at 02:57 pm report abuse
• 
  shirleylim26
  17. MOVE ON, Girl!
  January 22, 2010 at 11:14 am report abuse
• 
  meannesanchez
  16. you need to move on-- i should tell that to myself too lol
  January 20, 2010 at 09:34 pm report abuse
• 
  hazelnutzy
  15. Ouch! That hurts V! LOL. :P
  January 19, 2010 at 11:25 am report abuse
• Honey121
  14. 14. I feel you Ms. veronica. You're stuck...
  January 19, 2010 at 11:13 am report abuse
• kikay!
  13. Girl, move on!!! u deserve better than him. It really painful to accept the fact. But, you have your own life... go with what destiny bring you....
  January 18, 2010 at 07:01 pm report abuse
• 
  charm1021
  12. Correct!
  January 18, 2010 at 12:57 pm report abuse
• 
  jesteeicedtea
  11. simple as if a man doesn't give you what you deserve..ditch him..Do not wait in vain for his love na pde namn ibigay ng ibang guy na ndi mo npapansin kase you're too in blinded by someone whom you taught was your man..=/
  January 18, 2010 at 04:34 am report abuse
• Angel
  10. i agree with denver V..move on..
  January 17, 2010 at 10:15 am report abuse
• 
  shatteredframe
  9. very true. nakakapagod maghintay. i know exactly what v feels.
  January 16, 2010 at 11:40 pm report abuse
• kimilicious
  8. hay, hope someday mgcng kn sa katotohanan. stop being stupid miss V. dont let yourself being like that because of that asshole matt.you desesrve someone better.
  January 16, 2010 at 02:35 pm report abuse
• 
  summerinparis128
  7. �You can�t force a man to explain,�-totally agree.naman.i think time lng kylngan,masasagot dn un ? mo V.hay.nakakapagod nga lng mghntay :(
  January 16, 2010 at 01:50 pm report abuse
• 
  retz
  6. I agree with you Amie.
  January 16, 2010 at 12:20 pm report abuse
• 
  amie1985
  5. hay naku... i perfectly understand how this feels. kahit anong sabihin ng friends, we can only truly move on and let go at our own pace.
  January 16, 2010 at 11:12 am report abuse
• 
  toughgurl
  4. 4. TAMA! but it's easier said than done. *sigh* go gurl! kaya mo yan!=)
  January 16, 2010 at 10:37 am report abuse
• 
  myles_away
  3. it only shows that when it comes to LOVE most of us become stupid... haayyy
  January 16, 2010 at 09:43 am report abuse
• mayan
  2. AMEN
  January 16, 2010 at 01:39 am report abuse
• 
  miss_techylicious
  1. �Who wouldn�t?� Den continued. �And I can�t believe you�re letting some asshole who got fired from work beat the legal bitch out of you.� === really strong words of affirmation. go, fight V. matt do not deserve you afterall. you deserve much, much better.
  January 16, 2010 at 12:24 am report abuse

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