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Somehow, it was also this hate that brought me back to Logan--quite literally, actually, because I needed to talk to someone objective.

I couldn't talk to Gail--her blood pressure went up the moment I mentioned Nicia and I were fighting. I couldn't talk to Charlie--she seemed to hate Nicia in the first place. I couldn't talk to Lily--she's way too emotional for this. And though I could talk to some of my other friends, I just really wanted to talk to Logan...

Somehow, in my furious state, the issues between us seemed to be pushed aside. Again. And though I know that it's not fair to him and that he deserves an explanation worthy of a thesis defense, he never asked me for one.

I've always suspected that he can see right through me, and for this I am thankful--thankful that I never had to explain. I feel guilty as hell, sure, but my anger toward one of my closest friends consumed me so much for days that I began to see things in a different light...and I finally saw the heavy burden I had been keeping for so long.

In an earlier post, I mused that maybe each of us has a 16-year-old self our 20-something self still nurses. And to make peace with that, you need to mentally go back in time and live out your frustration. Because, as I have found, sometimes, you just have to let the angry kid out.

And, oh boy, angry kung angry talaga!

Grabe, magpa-Pasko pa naman!

Why, oh, why, do they drag me into these things?!

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