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"Break it to me gently,
If you have to, then tell me lies
Break it to me gently,
At least leave me with my pride
Try to spare my feelings
If the feelings have to die
Break it to me gently,
If you have to say goodbye…"

I had no idea Logan’s sister was such a good singer. So good, in fact, that she did Angela Bofill’s heartbreaking "Break it to Me Gently" justice during one of our many KTV sessions last year. As I sat there listening to her while munching on Chicago KTV’s nachos, a thought hit me: If someone breaks up with you, would you ask him to tell you the truth—the often ugly, nasty truth that would leave you dying—or have him lessen the blow by masking it with a lie?

Right then and there, I made a mental note. It’s one of the issues we can discuss here in Bedroom Blog Diaries.

As always, I asked the first person I laid eyes on as soon as the thought hit home. Unfortunately for Logan, he was the one right beside me, sipping beer. I would have asked Lily, Charlie, Nicia, or Gail for a female point-of-view but I couldn’t let the moment pass me by—not when the wheels in my brain are working double time. So I asked Logan. He said that if he’s in that kind of situation, he’d rather have the person tell him the god-awful truth.

“Magbe-break na nga kayo e,” he said. “So why not say it all?”

Good point. But, well, based on experience, sometimes...I’d rather hear the less painful versions of a breakup, especially when it’s my breakup we’re talking about. If it’s another person’s, then come on, let’s over-analyze everything with the efficiency of a psychopath.

I think I shelter myself and spare my feelings too much. Besides, if you’re both facing what’s inevitable, is there really a need to hear the more painful reasons it didn’t work out? From a distance, it seems that you’re just trying to hurt yourself (and your ego) all the more. If there’s no chance that you could still fix things and stay together, what’s the point of torturing yourself further by knowing the truth…when you know that you would only obsess over it for a long time? “To learn what went wrong,” some would say. “So you won’t do it again.”

But, isn’t it always a case to case basis? Some lessons learned in a former relationship do not always apply to the present or the future, because as you go along, you change. People change. For the better, for the worse, whatever. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. But if you are, well...

A thought hit me: maybe if more women would learn not to dwell on irrelevant and painful situations such as a breakup (but God knows I did; otherwise there wouldn’t be a Bedroom Blog by Veronica Season 1, right?), most of us would probably spare ourselves more than just tears. We’d be able to save a lot of time and energy, just like most men who brush off breakups like leeches.

But I guess women are not wired that way.

How about you? Would you rather spare your feelings or go demand an explanation why someone doesn’t love you anymore?

You’re damned if you do. You’re damned if you don’t. So maybe, you might as well do?

Hmmm…crazy question.

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