BEDROOM BLOG BY VERONICA
The Need To Detach
Posted on October 10, 2011 12:00 am by
Veronica
Photo: Courtesy of Pioneer Films ("One Day")
"Do you really need to do this?" Logan asked me for the nth time.
"Yes..." I said.
"You know, we don't have to do this."
"But, I want to," I begged. "I need to."
"Why?" Logan asked. "Tell me again."
"Because I feel like I'm cheating."
"Are you cheating?"
"No," I replied. "I don't know."
We met up at McKinley Hill after I finished some errands in Quezon City. I had just spent the entire day writing lines in my head, lines that I would tell him that night explaining why I needed to do this.
"Is this about the movie?" he asked me.
"No," I lied. "Not really."
"Then what is it about?"
I thought hard. Really hard. I thought way too hard about why I wanted to go through this again. I just felt the need to detach myself from the present to confront my past, the one that has haunted me for way too long.
"I have so many hang-ups, hon," I began. "I know I said I moved past it years ago. I know I said I walked away from Matt, but I guess I didn't do a good job because the memories keep coming back and it's messing me up."
"Then don't let it mess you up."
"It's not that easy," I tried to explain. "And that's why I need to do this, because if I need to do it again, I want to do it right for the last time."
"Pwede mo namang hindi pansinin 'yan, 'di ba?" he asked in a way that didn't sound like a question at all. "You can just ignore it."
"And that's what I'll keep doing if you don't let me deal with this," I answered. "I'll keep ignoring it, but it'll still be there."
Logan didn't say anything. He just sat there across from me, looking for a sign that I was kidding and, at the same time, trying to understand where I was coming from.
Tags: ex-boyfriends,issues,relationship,hangups,boyfriend,argument,LQ,fight,break
7 Comments
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7. ---you should be thankful Vh u've got logan that is so understanding. Usually if a guy hear that, they tend to back-off.
October 14, 2011 at 09:43 pm report abuse -
6. Very understanding nmn si Logan...i like him for u
October 14, 2011 at 01:14 pm report abuse -
5. V read this. Your entry. It might help. http://www.cosmo.ph/love-lust/bedroom-blog/keep-walking/
October 12, 2011 at 11:28 am report abuse -
4. i went through that same situation last month, too but you know, you have to realize that MAYBE, it's not the memories that are haunting you; maybe, you're the one who just can't (or don't want to) let go of the past. it'll all be alright, V. :)
October 11, 2011 at 08:34 pm report abuse -
3. sad moment...
October 11, 2011 at 09:58 am report abuse -
2. poor logan :(
October 10, 2011 at 07:06 am report abuse -
1. i understand Logan being sensible. sorry V. I need to go through again to that pace/backread to understand where you are coming from.
October 10, 2011 at 12:40 am report abuse
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