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"Charlie, have you ever felt na parang nakakasawa na 'yung ganito?"

I still didn't answer her question. She didn't seem to mind.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"'Eto. This. 'Yung buhay na parang pupunta ka dito sa bar with your friends to meet cute guys, and exchange numbers, and maybe hit it off a month later. 'Yung ganyan (I point to the girls who are dancing wildly) and ganyan (I point to the cute guys nearby)."

Charlie looked around the place. She didn't seem to get my point.

"Don't get me wrong," I continued. "I love your company; it's just that this place feels...hindi ko alam kung paano i-describe, e, pero para bang feel ko ang tanda ko na para sa ganito."

"At 26, grabe ka naman," Charlie said. "Hello? 'Yung mga 'yun nga (points to the dancing girls) mukha nang 30s, e."

I simply shrugged.

"Nah, gets ko 'yung point mo," my friend said. "Ako rin, feel ko parang wala nang dating 'yung mga ganitong lugar, e."

"We're a couple of old maids," I joked. "It's official--we're screwed."

"Gaga! Old maid ka diyan, may boyfriends tayo, 'no? Hindi tayo old maids," Charlie sipped her beer. "Speaking of boyfriends, so what now?"

I peeled the label off my beer bottle. "I haven't talked to Logan yet. Alam ko naman na okay siya, e; halos araw-araw kayang nagtsi-tsikahan mga nanay namin."

"Do they know what's happening?"

"Hindi," I answered. "I just don't feel like I can talk to him yet, especially after what I did and what had happened. I never got the closure I wanted. Feel ko i-i-in your face niya lang ako kapag sinabi ko kung anong nangyari, e."

"Well, although you do deserve it, I don't think Logan's that kind of person," Charlie replied. "Being human, siguro nasa isip na lang niya 'yun. Ano ba talagang problema mo sa kanya?"

To be continued...

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