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When Nicia came back from her week-long suspension, she vowed to make my teenage infatuation a huffing, puffing hell. She befriended the boy of my dreams. It didn’t take long for Al and Nicia to become the best of friends. Whenever I'd see her sit close and talk to and laugh with and hug the principal’s nephew, my 15-year-old heart would break every time because I couldn’t do the things she was doing deliberately. Even if we’d been classmates for two years, I’d never really gotten the chance to talk to Al, not even about a school project. That’s how shy I was when it came to guys I liked as a teenager.

And Nicia didn’t stop with simply being Al’s female best friend. When she found out that Al secretly likes another girl in our class, Nicia encouraged him to court her. Needless to say, it broke my heart to pieces.

When sembreak came, my parents were shocked that I seemed to want physical pain: I finally got braces and my first pair of contact lenses (until then, I’d been wearing glasses since fifth grade). I also had my naturally curly and sabog hair straightened for the very first time. And since I couldn’t really eat anything aside from soup and very soft pieces of bread with Cheese Whiz, I lost way too much weight that I had to give away most of the clothes I owned and get new sets of school uniform.

In a way, I transformed myself. Teenage angst could do that to you.

When classes resumed that November, everyone thought I had died--I looked nothing like the nerd they all knew. I thought I looked great. Betty La Fea? Taob! I always thought that my baby fats, my crooked teeth, my morena skin, and my nerdy glasses kept me from getting the boy of my dreams to even look at me. So you can just imagine how excited I was to show Al just how pretty the teenage me could be.

But my ugly duckling transformation came too late: the rumor that Al and the other girl were finally a couple was confirmed. Nicia had to rub it in my face and did the honors of telling everyone about it--except me.

Once again, that broke my heart and killed several trees, because I filled at least five journals with chronicles of my big, big, big teenage breakdown.

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