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I told Charlie about the lack of romance in my relationship that somehow led me to, um, stray in a very unconventional way. I told her that I felt I was betraying him for clinging to a strong memory. Charlie listened, made tsk tsk sounds every now and then, and shook her head in disappointment. She let me finish, nonetheless.

"So you don't find Logan romantic," Charlie started. "That's your only problem. Wow."

"Well, he used to be," I corrected. "Nung una. E, 'di ba ganoon naman 'yung mga lalaki, sa una lang sila magaling."

"Anong sa una, 'yung mga The List, The List n'yo?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Nung una, ang galing-galing niya sa mga gano'n. Tapos nung tumagal, wala na."

"Helloooo? Wake up, girl! 'Yun nga 'yun, e. 'Yung mga ginawa niyang romantic stuff when he was, like, courting you were all your plans in action. You told him exactly what you wanted, which is tama naman, but you also told him exactly what to do, right down to the last detail. And dahil nga gusto ka rin niya, he let you have your way. But can't you see that you never gave him the chance to show kung paano siya maging romantic in his own way?

"Remember nung first birthday mo na kayo na?" Charlie kept going. "Nasabi mo na you wanted weights so you could exercise at home. So he bought you a pair and muntik mo na ihagis sa kanya because you thought he was saying you were fat and he wanted you to lose weight. Remember how he sponsored your eight-month gym program to prepare for his sister's wedding? Magkano kaya 'yon! Na-appreciate mo ba 'yung gesture niya to help you prepare for a big event, or nagtampo ka na naman kasi akala mo tingin niya mataba ka?

"Remember your first Christmas together? He got you that Starbucks planner you thought you'd never get because you had to quit your caffeine habit, and he also got you that Idea Book you thought was sold out. Remember your birthday last year when he brought you to a bookstore and told you to pick out any book you wanted? Hindi pa ba romantic and sweet 'yung mga gestures na 'yun?"

Sitting there across from Charlie, I finally felt like a really big jerk.

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