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You were probably so amped over your dating freedom during college (and even beyond). And, you may even be happy with a social life that consists of a killer coed posse--including, perhaps, a guy friend whom you roll around with occasionally.

A study from Michigan State University revealed that 60 percent of undergraduates have had at least one friends-with-benefits (FWB) relationship (or FUBU for f**k buddy, if we’re going to be crass about it). Our naughty confession corner Cosmo Tell-All alone reveals that many of you Cosmo chicks have given up the booty to some “purely platonic” buds. And, while the sex-with-a-friend setup has its perks, there can be downsides, too. We spell it all out right here.

1. Some Rules Apply

Can you sleep with other people? How often should you hang out or call each other? An FWB situation can be confusing, so you may have to set up some parameters. And that means having a “talk,” which may be what you think an FWB arrangement will spare you from.

2. You May Get Attached

When you orgasm, oxytocin (the attachment hormone) is released, which creates feelings of intimacy, so sex becomes associated with strong emotions. Plus, casual sex doesn’t always equal meaningless sex. According to a study in the Journal Of Sex Research, when you sleep with a pal, you’re more prone to engage in affectionate behavior, like holding hands (which can spark feelings of a connection), than you are with a stranger or acquaintance.

3. The Chance Of Romance Is Slim

If you do fall for your booty call, your feelings will probably go unrequited. According to the Michigan State study, there’s only a 10 percent possibility of it working out. “FWB is usually a transitional phase between relationships, often ending when one of you finds someone else,” says New York City psychotherapist Robi Ludwig, PsyD.

4. Your Ex Is Fair Game

“If you’re on good terms with an ex-boyfriend and you still feel attracted to each other, he can be a good FWB,” says Ludwig. “Being intimate seems natural because he already knows what pleases you.” And, she points out, “the familiarity is comforting, so you may be less nervous.” Plus, there’s no danger in ruining a friendship that’s always been purely platonic.

5. The Friendship May Be Different

When the sex stops, it’s possible to stay friends with your bed buddy--36 percent of people do. But, the dynamics may change, says New York City sex therapist Joy Davidson, PhD, author of
Fearless Sex. Since you’ve established an intimate connection, the bond could deepen. On the other hand, you may feel weird around him or vice versa. Twenty-six percent of friendships end completely, along with the nooky. You have to decide if that’s a risk you’re willing to take.

Tags: dating,sex,love advice,dating tips,relationship tips,FUBU,FWB,friends with benefits

23 Comments

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• 
  sexy_lola
  23. I haven't done it but it is not that impossible, I knew 2 people who started as such then ended up marrying each other, I guess that was rare
  May 16, 2010 at 02:57 am report abuse
• 
  kessthea
  22. I don't think I will ever be in a FWB relationship. Is this any fun?
  April 23, 2010 at 12:00 am report abuse
• Heizy
  21. Some women are trying to snag the Right Man but parking still to the wrong ones. Too bad.
  April 06, 2010 at 09:07 am report abuse
• 
  milaniecandido
  20. READING COSMO EVERYDAY IS MY IE...HOPE THIS ARTICLES WILL BENEFIT EVERY EACH LADY OF THE DECADES...BECAUSE IT IS A GIFT OF LOVELY LIFE TO ME..KEEP ON COMING CIAO!
  March 27, 2010 at 04:06 pm report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  19. if the feeling is mutual go, if not better save it to your Mr. Right.
  March 23, 2010 at 07:58 pm report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  18. make sure hindi ka mistress. :)
  March 23, 2010 at 07:57 pm report abuse
• MrBrainx
  17. sa gay gusto to kahit gabi-gabi pa katabi ang boy...hehehheh
  March 23, 2010 at 11:46 am report abuse
• 
  katiyay0624
  16. i've too many guy friends. but im thankful that i set limits with them. 'till today, we are friends. :)
  March 12, 2010 at 10:09 pm report abuse
• 
  mary_ann_lei
  15. Just don't sleep! With a friend! That's it!
  March 12, 2010 at 11:51 am report abuse
• 
  Santori01
  14. The Chance of Romance is SLIM.. so never try nalng..
  March 11, 2010 at 10:21 pm report abuse
• jelle
  13. whatever it is that makes both of you happy, go for it, just make sure to accept its consequences afterwards.
  March 08, 2010 at 01:36 am report abuse
• 
  lalabong
  12. You have to make sure that the person likes you and does not have any commitment with other person.
  March 07, 2010 at 02:24 pm report abuse
• 
  Myrajoy
  11. this article really is nice...thanks
  March 01, 2010 at 12:42 pm report abuse
• 
  jhe_1212
  10. 10. Girls beware of a lot of guys kasi usually they just want you because of SEX. And that's it. Meaning, when they get it, it's over...
  February 17, 2010 at 05:28 pm report abuse
• 
  breakaway
  9. life is already complicated as it is ;) whether you're single or otherwise. Fubus are supposed to add extra spice, take away the drag, lighten up a bit, and provide a much convenient outlet for urges meant to be purely sexual in nature. Minus the dreaded, all-binding, non-compromising, seemingly permanent strings of commitment. It's either the sex comes as a bonus to a purely platonic relationship, or a good friendship comes out of a purely physical one. either way, exclusivity or marking territories is out of the question. There is no territory, to begin with. dont go out starting one. or worse, imagining one. it's either you're cut out for it or not. it's either you make it as simple as friendships are, or not. nothing in between. You turn it into a gray area and you run the risk of turning your world around.
  February 17, 2010 at 12:17 pm report abuse
• 
  Anne_007
  8. same here.. i'm really not into this "fubu, fwb" thingy..
  February 17, 2010 at 12:10 pm report abuse
• --
  7. FWB is not much of a win-win situation...it's usually being triggered when someone likes (or perhaps, loves) the other and the other one may just be attracted to the other physically (or have any other reasons). It may feel good in the beginning but u'l eventually feel the emptiness and the frustration later on..esp. if u'r in the ex turned fubu(because 1 still loves the other)...u'l feel happy being able to still be with the person, but eventually, u'l find urself lost and crying...esp. when u know its not going to get u back together....=(
  February 17, 2010 at 05:56 am report abuse
• 
  retz
  6. Very nice article, thanks for sharing.
  February 16, 2010 at 11:10 pm report abuse
• 
  Loripop
  5. sleeping with a guy friend is a definite no-no. i agree with toughgirl that if you want to sleep with a friend, you better take your relationship to the next level if you really want to keep each other.
  February 16, 2010 at 06:50 pm report abuse
• 
  toughgurl
  4. i agree. you should respect each other once you're friends. kung may ganung intention, better take your relationship to the next level na lang.
  February 16, 2010 at 01:18 pm report abuse
• 
  summerinparis128
  3. i will never ever sleep with a friend.i love my friends in a way more than i love my bf's.haha
  February 16, 2010 at 11:01 am report abuse
• 
  shivanee
  2. same here. does not agree with this kind of relationship.
  February 16, 2010 at 08:17 am report abuse
• 
  loveme.hateme
  1. hmm. no comment. ahaha. im not into fubu or fwb kasi. i also cant sleep with a 'guy' friend na may something, i always make sure na if i'll sleep with them, sleep lang talaga. hehe.
  February 16, 2010 at 08:08 am report abuse

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