DATING
6 Things That Can Spoil Your Couple Vacation
You've anticipated that summer getaway long enough, and now, you're about to go on it! Make sure it doesn't go wrong. Keep the ride smooth-sailing with these tips.
Posted on March 2, 2010 07:00 am by Jessie Knadler, US Writer
Photo: "Fool's Gold" courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures
Posted on March 2, 2010 07:00 am by Jessie Knadler, US Writer
Photo: "Fool's Gold" courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures
This summer, you and your beau plan on taking a trip together. You're getting ready for a week-long fantasy for two, right? Well, maybe. “Yes, vacations are like mini utopias in that there’s no daily grind, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to agree magically on everything,” says sex and relationship expert Joy Davidson, Ph.D., author of Fearless Sex. In fact, trips a deux can be a prime breeding ground for problems: travel headaches, clashing relaxation styles, major pressure for everything to be postcard perfect. But if you know how to deal ahead of time, you can keep your romantic Club Med from morphing into Club Mediocre (or worse, Club Get-the-Hell-Away-From-Me).
Holiday Love Hurdle 1: You Begin The Vacation Stressed Out
Lingering work hassles, traffic jams, and near anal probes by airport security don’t exactly foster feelings of R & R. In fact, the stress can spill over into the vacation if you don’t let go of your resulting cranky ’tude, fast. “Gary and I hit traffic on our way to the airport. He had road rage, and I was freaking out that we’d miss our flight,” says Kate, 30. “By the time we boarded the plane to Bora, we were barely talking to each other.”
It’s understandable. All the details that have to be wrapped up before you can escape—work deadlines, bikini shopping, bill payments—shorten your fuse. Suddenly, a line that’s 10-people-deep at the check-in counter is enough to cause a meltdown. So to ensure your tension doesn’t eclipse the trip, acknowledge the sucky situation and blame it rather than each other, suggests couples therapist Paul Coleman, Psy.D., author of How to Say It: For Couples. “Say, ‘Getting to the airport was a nightmare. Thank God that’s over.’” That way you recognize the torture, but you also confirm that it’s now done with so you can both mentally move on.
Once you’re winding down in transit, ease further into mai tai mode by discussing your plans for the week ahead. Visions of pigging out and sleeping until noon will make your stresses a distant memory. “A few hours into the flight, Gary finally said, ‘I’m so glad we’re away. And I’m so looking forward to seeing you in your bikini,’” Kate recalls. “That was all it took. I wasn’t annoyed anymore.”
Holiday Love Hurdle 2: Big Spender Versus Tightwad
Cash can be a problem if one of you is thinking filet mignon while the other is sneaking plastic bags into the all-you-can-eat buffet. To get what you both want, start with the cold hard facts. What’s your budget for meals, tours, side trips, etc.? Once you have a figure, you can strike a balance on how to spend it. Coleman suggests that you mix it up. For instance, have el cheapo lunches so you can justify splurging on fancier dinners.
Then make a list of things you both want to do, and be resourceful. “On a trip to Bangkok, Jerry didn’t want to shell out 150 baht for a guided tour of the temples, which I really wanted to see,” says Jennifer, 27. “But after talking to some locals, we found out about a walk to some cool tourist spots. It was beautiful and private, and we were both happy,” she says. And if despite the clever spending you still crave a little pampering, treat yourself. “When we got back to the hotel, I semi-splurged on a massage, which was still a lot less than the tour would have been, while Jerry hung by the pool, probably counting his coins.”
Holiday Love Hurdle 1: You Begin The Vacation Stressed Out
Lingering work hassles, traffic jams, and near anal probes by airport security don’t exactly foster feelings of R & R. In fact, the stress can spill over into the vacation if you don’t let go of your resulting cranky ’tude, fast. “Gary and I hit traffic on our way to the airport. He had road rage, and I was freaking out that we’d miss our flight,” says Kate, 30. “By the time we boarded the plane to Bora, we were barely talking to each other.”
It’s understandable. All the details that have to be wrapped up before you can escape—work deadlines, bikini shopping, bill payments—shorten your fuse. Suddenly, a line that’s 10-people-deep at the check-in counter is enough to cause a meltdown. So to ensure your tension doesn’t eclipse the trip, acknowledge the sucky situation and blame it rather than each other, suggests couples therapist Paul Coleman, Psy.D., author of How to Say It: For Couples. “Say, ‘Getting to the airport was a nightmare. Thank God that’s over.’” That way you recognize the torture, but you also confirm that it’s now done with so you can both mentally move on.
Once you’re winding down in transit, ease further into mai tai mode by discussing your plans for the week ahead. Visions of pigging out and sleeping until noon will make your stresses a distant memory. “A few hours into the flight, Gary finally said, ‘I’m so glad we’re away. And I’m so looking forward to seeing you in your bikini,’” Kate recalls. “That was all it took. I wasn’t annoyed anymore.”
Holiday Love Hurdle 2: Big Spender Versus Tightwad
Cash can be a problem if one of you is thinking filet mignon while the other is sneaking plastic bags into the all-you-can-eat buffet. To get what you both want, start with the cold hard facts. What’s your budget for meals, tours, side trips, etc.? Once you have a figure, you can strike a balance on how to spend it. Coleman suggests that you mix it up. For instance, have el cheapo lunches so you can justify splurging on fancier dinners.
Then make a list of things you both want to do, and be resourceful. “On a trip to Bangkok, Jerry didn’t want to shell out 150 baht for a guided tour of the temples, which I really wanted to see,” says Jennifer, 27. “But after talking to some locals, we found out about a walk to some cool tourist spots. It was beautiful and private, and we were both happy,” she says. And if despite the clever spending you still crave a little pampering, treat yourself. “When we got back to the hotel, I semi-splurged on a massage, which was still a lot less than the tour would have been, while Jerry hung by the pool, probably counting his coins.”
Tags: dating,relationship,boyfriend,girlfriend,vacation,love advice,vacation tips,relationship tips
14 Comments
Add A Comment
-
14. I agree.. always compromise.. & be very patient.. naku, ako pa naman ung type of girl na semi-perfectionist & a little outgoing.. so guto ko sundo sa plan pero minsan ok din ung mejo loose & just go with the flow.. share ko lng what happened on our Sagada trip, I was preparing na for or dinner with our friends, my guy was sleeping, when i tried waking him up to freshen up for dinner he insisted on extending his sleep.. i sort of got furious, but i soon got his message that he want a 'wake-me-up-deed' so i did it & boy was it good, he then got up & we both went to dinner with our friends.. (^.^)
July 15, 2010 at 05:58 pm report abuse -
13. I like this, totoo na minsan pag hindi plantsado or in the mood ang cuple mabuti na wag ituloy ais hindi magiging ok ang biyahe at bakasyon, minsan nga mas ok pa na biglaan para mas exciting, and usually parehong mas masaya like a weekend getaway sa tagaytay
May 01, 2010 at 04:57 pm report abuse -
12. READING COSMO EVERYDAY IS MY IE...HOPE THIS ARTICLES WILL BENEFIT EVERY EACH LADY OF THE DECADES...BECAUSE IT IS A GIFT OF LOVELY LIFE TO ME..KEEP ON COMING CIAO!
March 27, 2010 at 04:05 pm report abuse -
11. don't be a nagger girls.
March 23, 2010 at 07:56 pm report abuse -
10. Just enjoy, don't overthink of everything. Be spontaneous.
March 16, 2010 at 06:57 pm report abuse -
9. i think, lagi naman magkaka-problem, kahit saan kayo pumunta. the important thing is, think that this is a vacation and this is supposed to be fun. then mkakalimutan nyo na ang mga inis at galit.
March 12, 2010 at 10:07 pm report abuse -
8. Opposites attract but doesn't last.
March 12, 2010 at 11:49 am report abuse -
7. for short, dapat compatible talaga kau ng partner mu.
March 11, 2010 at 09:28 pm report abuse -
6. Big Spender Versus Tightward- I think couples should have bring their budget so they don't go overboard with their expenditures.
March 07, 2010 at 02:22 pm report abuse -
5. LOL. I remembered our 1st trip to Bora as husband and wife. We had a mini spat over how much tip to give the porter at the airport. Ayun. We started our vacation by not speaking to each other. Hahaha!
March 06, 2010 at 01:12 am report abuse -
4. SOunds very familiar! kame din lage na sspoil yung vacation namin.. pero, I ALWAYS MAKE SURE na, at the end of the day, everything's alright na between us.
March 02, 2010 at 04:28 pm report abuse -
3. When my ex and I go out of town, super happy. But when my friends are with us, our vacations always get spoiled. Now that I'm solo, I can enjoy my vacation with my friends na! ehhehe :)
March 02, 2010 at 01:12 pm report abuse -
2. summer is the best time ever!i make sure nothing ruins my vacation.hehe
March 02, 2010 at 10:32 am report abuse -
1. awww. sana hindi naman mangyari sa vacation ko 'to. always compromise.=)
March 02, 2010 at 09:51 am report abuse
Advertisements
Follow
us on:
us on:
POPULAR IN LOVE & LUST
-
3 Ways To Bring Back The Kilig In Your Relationship
Feel that electrifying rush you associate with new love again with these simple tips. READ MORE
-
Naughty Moves To Spice Up Special Occasions
Make V-Day a night to remember by surprising him with these kinky tricks. READ MORE
RECEIVE COSMO.PH WEEKLY!
Join thousands of subscribers enjoying our fab weekly Wednesday sendouts, and get EXCLUSIVE celeb news, tips, and promos right in your inbox.