DATING
Dare To Take Some Dating Risks
Stop being a segurista! Take a gamble in the mating game to boost your confidence and give him an experience he’ll never forget.
Posted on September 2, 2009 12:00 am by Beth Whiffren, US Writer
Photo: Sony Pictures
Posted on September 2, 2009 12:00 am by Beth Whiffren, US Writer
Photo: Sony Pictures
When you go out with a new guy, it’s easy to slip into play-it-safe mode unconsciously. (For example, you turn down dudes who don’t fit your exact specs or always choose the standard dinner-and-a-movie date for your first night out.) But making an effort to be a bit daring can reap rewards.
“Start taking small risks on dates and you’ll project a new kind of confidence to guys and potentially make a more exciting, intimate connection,” says psychotherapist Jonathan Robinson, author of Shortcuts to Bliss. Plus, you’ll seem insanely intriguing.
The Risk: Date Against Type
Maybe you date only bankers and shun creative types. Or you have a certain predilection for preppies, jocks, or guys who work with their hands. Well, break that pattern by going out with a different kind of dude…even if he doesn’t strike you as your type.
The Pay-Off: Simply put, you might meet someone great, as Lucy, 27, realized. “I like big, athletic guys, but I said ‘What the hell?’ and accepted a date with Led—even though he wasn’t the sporty type—because he was so funny. Once we started talking, I found myself totally attracted to him.”
Think of it this way: It’s hard to know what you like and need in a man until you’ve sampled the full stud spectrum. And if you’re busy dating duplicates of the same dude, you may be neglecting guys with the traits you need to make a relationship work, says Michelle Callahan, PhD, a New York City psychologist and life coach. “When you drop the fantasy you have about who the perfect man is and explore someone who has qualities you may like but just aren’t used to, he could end up being the one who makes you the happiest.”
“Start taking small risks on dates and you’ll project a new kind of confidence to guys and potentially make a more exciting, intimate connection,” says psychotherapist Jonathan Robinson, author of Shortcuts to Bliss. Plus, you’ll seem insanely intriguing.
The Risk: Date Against Type
Maybe you date only bankers and shun creative types. Or you have a certain predilection for preppies, jocks, or guys who work with their hands. Well, break that pattern by going out with a different kind of dude…even if he doesn’t strike you as your type.
The Pay-Off: Simply put, you might meet someone great, as Lucy, 27, realized. “I like big, athletic guys, but I said ‘What the hell?’ and accepted a date with Led—even though he wasn’t the sporty type—because he was so funny. Once we started talking, I found myself totally attracted to him.”
Think of it this way: It’s hard to know what you like and need in a man until you’ve sampled the full stud spectrum. And if you’re busy dating duplicates of the same dude, you may be neglecting guys with the traits you need to make a relationship work, says Michelle Callahan, PhD, a New York City psychologist and life coach. “When you drop the fantasy you have about who the perfect man is and explore someone who has qualities you may like but just aren’t used to, he could end up being the one who makes you the happiest.”
Tags: men,dating,date,daring,risks restaurant,provocative,embarrassing
18 Comments
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18. try different things. enjoy life.
March 23, 2010 at 08:45 pm report abuse -
17. embrace changes.
March 23, 2010 at 08:44 pm report abuse -
16. yup. opposites attract but don't last!
March 12, 2010 at 12:26 pm report abuse -
15. The risk date against type is so challenging. i don't say yes if the person is not my type but this one looks so cool.
March 07, 2010 at 03:33 pm report abuse -
14. I always love to ask questions,it's good if the conversation will go smoothly and enjoyably. At least the guy will not get bored.
February 09, 2010 at 02:53 am report abuse -
13. The Risk: Ask Him An Envelope-Pushing Question - the girl in the pic (taken from the movie, the ugly truth) actually give all these facts that the guy went crazy.
February 09, 2010 at 12:28 am report abuse -
12. The Risk: Be Willing To Do Something Potentially Embarrassing - this i've tried before. it was fun! :)
February 09, 2010 at 12:26 am report abuse -
11. Date Against Type - i like tall guys, well atleast taller than me. i never dated a guy shorter than me so i guess im not a risk taker coz i'm not game on this.
February 09, 2010 at 12:26 am report abuse -
10. it's interesting to know someone (whom u think u would not click with) and find out how fun it is to spend time with him :)
February 07, 2010 at 06:25 pm report abuse -
9. date against your type is nice :D
February 07, 2010 at 06:24 pm report abuse -
8. the pay offs are worth the risks.
February 04, 2010 at 02:32 pm report abuse -
7. Don't be afraid to take a risk. Love is like a gamble. Don't stay in your comfort zone. Embrace changes.
February 04, 2010 at 11:56 am report abuse -
6. i think tht taking risks is good in a way that things happens for a reason,good or bad.so its always worth it.hehe
January 31, 2010 at 11:14 pm report abuse -
5. Opposites attract so it's not advisable to date just one type of guy or those you have preference for.
January 27, 2010 at 09:51 am report abuse -
4. goodluck myles!
January 25, 2010 at 10:45 pm report abuse -
3. thanks for these tips. these will definitely give some confidence to first timers. =)
January 22, 2010 at 11:22 pm report abuse -
2. just be yourself when you're on a date. It's easier to ne natural than pretending to be someone you are not.
January 22, 2010 at 05:17 pm report abuse -
1. i'm actually starting to do the first: Date Against Type - and will try to go on... it's FUN!
January 22, 2010 at 01:15 pm report abuse
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