RELATIONSHIPS
5 Things You Didn't Know Could Hurt Your Bond
Posted on August 31, 2009 12:00 am by Beth Whiffren, US Writer
No matter how enamored a man is of his woman, there are a few common girlfriend habits that can rub him the wrong way. And the scary thing is, they are the very loving actions you think make your connection stronger.
“Some of the most damaging relationship behaviors are actually those things that you assume are good for your bond,” says psychologist Paul Coleman, PhD, author of How to Say It For Couples. “By avoiding them, you can prevent-or reverse-any inadvertent harm you may have caused.” Luckily, we’ve pinpointed the five key faux pas you may be unwittingly making…and formulated some quick fixes.
1. Getting in supergood with his friends
Click with his crew and you’ll rock your guy’s world. But get in too tight (as in having them all join your Facebook network or confiding in them about your personal issues) and you could be committing a love flub.
“Men don’t develop close ties as often or as easily as women do,” explains psychologist and life coach Michelle Callahan, PhD. “They need time alone with the good friends they do have to preserve that sense of having an inner sanctum.” When you become emotionally intimate with his go-to people, it compromises his ability to talk openly to them when he needs advice or support-especially if it’s about you. If you’re with your guy every time he’s with his friends, you’re imposing, and sooner or later, he’s going to resent you for throwing a wrench into that dynamic.
To make sure your bond with his buddies is distant enough, hang with them in moderation. “If your boyfriend is watching basketball with his friends, stop by for a beer, but don’t stay all afternoon,” says psychologist Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up. Instead, spend the rest of the day with your friends so you don’t miss out on the bonding time you need. You’ll naturally become less intimate with his boys and strike the right buddy balance.
25 Comments
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25. open communication is really important.
March 22, 2010 at 10:19 am report abuse -
24. don't be close to his group of friends.
March 22, 2010 at 10:19 am report abuse -
23. Before you do something unusual it's better to talk to your guy about it to avoid any misunderstandings.
March 06, 2010 at 11:36 pm report abuse -
22. I agree with 'Being honest all the time'. I don't have peace pag may guilt ako.
February 10, 2010 at 02:14 am report abuse -
21. Always prioritizing the relationship - sometimes, we forgot to prioritize ours bec of work. since starting the wedding preps, ok na.
February 09, 2010 at 08:41 pm report abuse -
20. Being honest all the time - our golden rule.
February 09, 2010 at 08:40 pm report abuse -
19. âMen love it when a woman speaks up,â - but nagging is a different story, right?
February 09, 2010 at 08:39 pm report abuse -
18. Being too low-maintenance - nope. i always make sure im prim :)
February 09, 2010 at 08:38 pm report abuse -
17. Getting in supergood with his friends - know your limitation.
February 09, 2010 at 08:37 pm report abuse -
16. agree with #5, have some time separate from each other. that way, every moment you'll spend w/each other will be special and u wont take each other for granted
February 06, 2010 at 07:34 pm report abuse -
15. âMen are very visual, and when you donât spend as much time on your appearance as you did in the beginning, some of the spark goes out of it for him.â ~ True! Kaya may iba pag matagal na sa relasyon, di na kasing blooming ng "bagong in love".
February 06, 2010 at 07:29 pm report abuse -
14. Open communication is a key in a relationship to last for long.
February 02, 2010 at 11:12 pm report abuse -
13. i agree. sometimes giving too much in a relationship can stress it out.
February 02, 2010 at 09:40 pm report abuse -
12. being honest all the time & getting too much close to his friends are one of the reasons why me & my bf broke up.hehe.i should have read this last yr.
January 31, 2010 at 11:08 pm report abuse -
11. I'm guilty of no. 5 coz when I'm in a relationship I always focus on my bf.
January 26, 2010 at 10:20 am report abuse -
10. Being too low-maintenance... i'll try not to. thanks!
January 25, 2010 at 10:46 pm report abuse -
9. i love this. thanks for opening our eyes! =)
January 22, 2010 at 11:31 pm report abuse -
8. i love this article!
December 03, 2009 at 06:26 pm report abuse -
7. Very good article, thanks! Learned a lot from this and I totally agree with #2. These past few weeks, whenever my fiance and I go out, he'd just suddenly say, 'You should've just wore that super sexy shorts (or that cool top) of yours. Where is it?'. I've become a bit 'conservative' when I dress these days 'cause of my parents religion and what people would think if they see my flaws. xD
December 03, 2009 at 06:35 am report abuse -
6. number 4 so true.
December 02, 2009 at 09:57 pm report abuse -
glai...5. Maintaining your independence balances your life, because your whole self-esteem isnât riding on the relationship.. COsmo ndeed rocks! i feel that my world juz evolves on my boyfriend..i rily need to work on this though.. thanx cosmo for inspiring women..
November 27, 2009 at 08:57 pm report abuse -
4. more! more! =D i super liked it! i learned a LOT! thanks cosmo! =)
November 18, 2009 at 03:09 pm report abuse -
Mandy3. ''we don't like ketchup on fries. we prefer mayo.'' Nice lol. crazy things women do for men and how they get transformed for men!
November 08, 2009 at 10:54 pm report abuse -
2. Nice... i learned a lot from this. i hope guys do have something like this so they will be able to return the favor to us;-)
September 30, 2009 at 12:46 pm report abuse -
chen1. wow..that's something..i really learned a lot..
September 28, 2009 at 03:54 pm report abuse
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