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Rule 4: You have to resolve every conflict.

Why you should break it: Forget the old adage that you should never go to bed angry. Despite your feminine urge to fix a problem now, it often pays to sleep on it…or drop the matter completely. “Women are oriented toward harmony and balance in relationships, so they often try too hard to analyze and repair an argument, which isn’t always possible…and can even exacerbate the issue,” says Ianni.

What is important when you don’t see eye-to-eye is being able to communicate your feelings. “If you bottle up your emotions, you set yourself up for a far worse explosion later,” says Ianni. But speaking your mind doesn’t necessarily mean finding a tidy resolution.

Take it from Erika, 28, who was sick of battling with her fiance about her future monster-in-law. “Greg’s mother is a pain in the ass,” she says. “I can’t stand her, and I would take my anger out on him. But I realized that I wasn’t being fair. She’s his mother. What can he do? So now I complain to him when she upsets me, but I don’t blame him for her behavior. I guess it’s something I’m going to have to learn to live with.”

As Erika found out, there are some disagreements that can’t-or shouldn’t-be fought to the finish. “Let smaller conflicts go, and focus on working out the ones that involve your core values and life goals,” says Rhoades. For example: If your guy’s leave-the-dishes-in-the-sink habit bugs you, suck it up. He is probably an inherent slob and isn’t likely to change. However, if he keeps blowing his paycheck on unnecessary big-ticket items while you want to save up to buy a house together, that’s a point of contention you should hash out.

Tags: dating,relationship,boyfriend,girlfriend,relationship rules,love laws

15 Comments

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• 
  lalabong
  15. if we can't control the situation we can control ourselves naman diba.
  March 22, 2010 at 11:07 am report abuse
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  lalabong
  14. some guys, ok lang sa kanila sa iba naman hindi pwede, iba iba ang ugali ng boys.
  March 22, 2010 at 11:06 am report abuse
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  mary_ann_lei
  13. I just accepted my ex's facebook request aba nagalit na si boyfriend ko!
  March 12, 2010 at 05:13 pm report abuse
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  lalabong
  12. I always know the rules and I break some!
  March 06, 2010 at 11:48 pm report abuse
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  len9
  11. i put these tips to good use. :D
  February 06, 2010 at 07:45 pm report abuse
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  loveme.hateme
  10. rule # 3 is perfect. haha. soo true. now I know whats the importance of sex. It really last the relationship.
  February 06, 2010 at 05:53 am report abuse
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  shirleylim26
  9. Put some spice in your relationship by Rule 3: Sex always has to be spontaneous. Correct! Maintain an exciting sex life.
  February 02, 2010 at 11:40 pm report abuse
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  fishbowl84
  8. kinda hard to admit it but it's true :)
  February 02, 2010 at 09:56 pm report abuse
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  summerinparis128
  7. very well explained.i totally agree especially Rule 3: Sex always has to be spontaneous,haha
  January 31, 2010 at 09:31 pm report abuse
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  handpaintedsky
  6. i second the motion.. :)
  January 30, 2010 at 10:06 am report abuse
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  reeya
  5. i agree...
  January 28, 2010 at 09:53 pm report abuse
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  fishbowl84
  4. we should break the rules because we only get to live once and lifes too short to follow them :)
  January 28, 2010 at 10:37 am report abuse
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  prettylass8831
  3. One thing I've learned from this article is to always speak my mind.
  January 26, 2010 at 10:24 am report abuse
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  len9
  2. nice love rules :)
  January 23, 2010 at 11:27 am report abuse
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  miss_techylicious
  1. nice article... i love breaking rules. =) thanks for the tips! =)
  January 22, 2010 at 11:16 pm report abuse

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