How To Deal If He Cheats

Discovering your man's infidelity can be devastating, but a breakup isn't inevitable. Here, psychiatrist Keith Ablow, author of Living the Truth, suggests ways to handle an affair's aftermath.

Ask him why.

Put your grief, jealousy, and rage aside long enough to ask him, "Why do you think this happened?" Advises Dr. Ablow: "Say, 'If you don't love me, that's one thing. But if you're cheating because our sex life is stalled or you want to know that you're still attractive to women, we could save this relationship.'"

Decide how invested you are.

"People who give up their relationships because of an act of infidelity may not have had much of a bond to begin with," says Dr. Ablow. "Automatically bailing doesn't translate as loving--or realistic--to me."

Reignite the passion.

"If you believe this is your true partner, start doing the work to reawaken the passion," says Dr. Ablow. "Often your boyfriend or husband is the last person you've told what you really like in bed. Cheating can be a wake-up call. Adopt a warrior's mentality and say, 'I'm going to reclaim the love of my mate!'"

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