What He Does To Say "I Love You"

Jumping in front of a bullet…scaling Mt. Apo with minimal food and water…for the average dude, these acts of bravado are child’s play next to saying he loves you. That’s because unlike women, men just aren’t hardwired to articulate their feelings. “Studies show that men don’t rely on words to convey emotion,” explains relationship counselor Douglas Weiss, PhD, author of Intimacy: A 100-Day Guide to Lasting Relationships. “Instead, a guy’s brain is task-oriented. He’s more likely to demonstrate his feelings via action.”

Translation: If you want to decipher the depth of your man’s devotion, pay attention to what he does, not what he doesn’t say. To help you get a read on your romance, we’ve outlined seven signs he’s fallen hard—behavioral clues he may not realize he’s sending you.

1. He Lends You His Most Precious Possessions

“Like most guys, I’d always been weird about women touching my stuff—that mix of expensive gear and sentimental junk that men consider off-limits,” recalls John, 32. “That is, until I met my fiancee. I’m still amazed that I gave her my cherished jersey. But she got drenched during the rain that night, and I let her wear it home. I was more concerned about keeping her dry than whether she’d ruin my shirt.”

It’s true: A guy who’s gone gaga for you will happily fork over his mountain bike, laptop, and even his iPod because he sees it as a chance to show that he’s into you. “He knows it’s possible you could lose the item, but he’s willing to make that sacrifice because he wants to demonstrate how deeply he trusts and cares for you,” says relationship expert Susan Quilliam, author of Body Language.

And as any chick who has ever watched her guy spend hours grooming his ride or rearranging his comic-book collection knows, men tend to consider certain objects part of their identity; they view their most beloved things as extensions of themselves. “So if he freely offers you something that you know matters a great deal to him, in a way, he’s also offering himself,” adds Quilliam.

2. He Wants To Protect You When You’re Apart

Ever giddily unwrap a surprise present from your guy…only to find that he bought you jumper cables, several bottles of pepper spray, or orange reflectors to stick on your sneakers when you jog after dark? Hard to believe, but his safety-related gift gaffe is actually a tip-off that he’s enamored with you.

It all goes back to Neanderthal times, when a man’s main role was to protect the cave babe he adored. Though you no longer need him to ward off wild animals and marauding tribes, his instinct to guard his girl remains. “Men express their devotion by keeping you safe,” explains psychotherapist Tina Tessina, PhD, author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. “Sure, he knows that he’s supposed to bring you flowers and candy. But when he really cares for you, that innate safety reflex is so strong that he ends up getting you security gadgets you can use if your car breaks down or you’re out alone at night.” Now, isn’t that pepper-spray key chain he bought you starting to seem a little more romantic?

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