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10 Hidden Truths About Falling in Love

Cosmo.ph columnist Bianca Valerio talks about the rude realities, as well as the transformative powers, of that crazy little thing called love.

Love is oftentimes connoted with a feeling. Sure, for about five minutes. Then reality kicks in…and then love becomes the conjoined twin of the words for what may seem like an eternity to some people: "sacrifice", "commitment", "a choice". Lovely!

Like a full-time job, Olympic sport, fitness regimen, or financial investment, love, in its many forms, isn’t made for everyone unless one is truly prepared. 

Here’s what you need to know about falling in love before you fall prey to its spell:

1. Love seems to be the hottest, most popular bachelor we’re never going to get: It’s just too damn elusive.

Thanks to the who-are-they-kidding scenarios Hollywood rom-coms and off-the-charts porn flicks have implanted in our subconscious, the idea of "happily ever after" has set unrealistic expectations for both sexes!

2. Love as they say is like sweet poetry or the perfect dance between two people. But the problem is, not everyone can whip out a sonnet or bust a move like Usher. It takes much practice, patience, persistence and lonely nights where you’re left with your vibrator to keep those Kegels in check. 

3. It always looks amazing at the start but, when the label has been made official, romance has now been replaced with too much lazy familiarity that not even a La-Z-Boy could compete. Promising, isn’t it?

4. Just like having a pet or a child, commitment entails a No Return, No Exchange Policy (for as long as your pride can bear it just to say you didn’t give up first). 

5. It is the hardest universal subject that involves logic from the whole trial and error process, and yet no matter how many formulas you think you’ve mastered, it has another aspect in its curriculum that you can’t learn in school: band-aiding a broken heart. 

6. The fact that it is called “falling,” implies that there is a level of discomfort, uncertainty and vulnerability from appearing to be “weak” as you blindly (although others may call it fearlessly to sound less foolish) tread the so-called pathway to love (which is sometimes mistaken with lust). We smell a one-night stand coming.

7. People are so afraid of bungee jumping or sky diving for the fear of dying in an instant and yet, “falling” in love, where if you don’t play your cards right, you can get your head, heart and soul crushed, torn, battered and bruised in a slow almost-death-like experience from the intense anguish. The worst part: it’s a slow torturous process that never leads to actual death since we were created to be resilient beings. Awesome. 

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8. It is a drug that’s got no “Anonymous” support group other than your girlfriends’ place filled with chick flick DVDs, John Mayer’s “Heartbreak Warfare” on loop, wine and more wine (cheaper wine as the hours go by because by this time, your tastebuds too, have become numb from the emotional pain that they could care less). Pajama pity party indeed!

9. Another term for lover is a flame. Exactly! Just as a moth is lured to a flame or we are to an “end of season FINAL SALE” sign, it takes a hold on us, that we become defenseless. Hence the term, “burned by love...” or your credit card. Same banana. 

10. Just like a damn hiccup, it can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. And even if we hold our breath for 30 seconds as Google Facts swears it’ll kill the annoying reflex, it just won’t go away!!! 

Yet, after all the ice cream, cheesy songs, drunken nights, and random rebound kissing have all served their purpose, by golly, it’s back in the rollercoaster saddle of this funny thing we call love. 

We may have gained a few extra pounds from emotional eating or neglected our roots from not getting its monthly color retouching, but we gained such incredible insight about ourselves. 

We turn out stronger, wiser, more confident individuals who ultimately seek only one type of revenge that hurts no one: to be happier.

It is only then that we can truly say that our past can no longer hurt us. They were yesterday’s news and today we’re making headlines as we return into the dating scene larger than life! 

Bottom line, pain is the one thing we need to feel alive. It’s a prick on the nerve endings of our soul to realize how fleeting life and love are, that we need to grab them for dear life or the moment just might pass. We need love’s nemesis to truly understand, appreciate and respect love’s power on us: physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

Love truly is a drug and it’s just what the doctor recommended.

I guess that’s why they also call it, “Crazy in Love.” Anyone who’s ever been in love will say this: to experience the rush or reignite that spark just for a moment in time, they would gladly go through all the pain, all over again.

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