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A Guy Answers All Your Most Googled Sex Questions

Because apparently they need answers.

There are a lot of, um, worrisome suggestions when you Google things like "sex" or "men," and see how the phrases auto-complete. The questions that pop up apparently need answering since enough people are searching them online to make them the top responses. So I've taken it upon myself to serve up some help to those of you madly Googling your darkest insecurities at 2 a.m. (OF NOTE: I am not a doctor or a scientist.) Here we go.

"How does sex...?"

"How does sex feel for the first time?" is an odd question to field specifically to the staff of Yahoo, but I'm going to grab this one and attempt to answer it anyway: warm, weird, and over too quickly.

How does sex happen? Sex isn't like an earthquake. It doesn't happen accidentally. If you want to know when sex, in terms of the loose, traditional definition occurs, it's when the penis enters the vagina or butt, or two vaginas rub up all on each other. Oral sex and manual stimulation also count. I guess this is actually more confusing than you'd think. But if you're at least partially unclothed and you're pleasing each other physically with rubbing, you're probably having some sort of sex.

I'm not sure what "how does sexual selection occur" means, but I blame that mostly on context. I'm just going to imagine this doesn't apply to humans.

"Why do guys...?"

Men like boobs because boobs are foreign and interesting to us, but it helps that they're also just fun.

There are a few reasons guys might cheat, including a huge discrepancy in income or just because, well, they're born cheaters.

According to scientists who actually know about this stuff, men have nipples because women do too, and we all start the same in utero. They develop early enough that we still have them even if we don't use them, like utensils at a barbecue.

I don't have a great answer as to why some guys love feet so much, other than it's a fetish and it's them admiring part of a woman's body. It's not, like, top 20 searches popular, but it's definitely not something to be worried about.

"Why is sex...?"

Sexual reproduction is important because it's how we propagate our species. From an evolutionary standpoint, it's how we avoid extinction, so that's cool.

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Sex is good for you for a variety of reasons, beyond just being recreationally fun. It can boost your health and happiness (both short- and long-term). It even boosts
your immune system
 and the endorphins it generates in your body act as a painkiller.

Some people think sex is a sin because they have interpreted the words of the Bible as saying that.

"Why are men...?"

It looks like at least three of the questions are related. Guys can be jerks because some people are just the worst, whether they're men or women. Those people are, fairly, jerks. But it could easily just be a matter of communication differences. Men tend to clam up when they're upset, and even when things are great, they don't verbalize their feelings as much. They might give suggestions that they see as helpful but you see as critical. And, although this is anecdotal, they tend to be a little more...brazen with their joking around.

As far as guys being stronger, it all comes down to testosterone if you're talking physical strength. Men aren't inherently stronger, but they generally have more testosterone sloshing around in their bodies, which promotes muscle growth.

"Why are couples...?"

These all seem to be related. Maybe couples are divorcing because they're so boring and annoying. To be fair, that's not really true. There's actually a variety of reasons couples divorce, from money problems to immaturity to cheating. 

So...there you go. Hopefully that answers all the questions people might have floating around in their head (but probably, hopefully don't). Now we can get back to answering the important questions, like:

Please, tell us the secrets of death, Josh. We need to know.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.