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Cosmo's Guide To Talking Dirty In Bed

Trying to figure out what sexy dialogue he craves is tricky. Plus, you don't want to sound canned or like a bad porn star. Read on for our best tips.

Getting tongue-tied in bed? And we don't mean when kissing--that's a good thing--but when talking dirty. Even if you pride yourself on great communcation skills outside the bedroom, you might be at a loss when it comes to expressing yourself in the sack.

What's the best thing to whisper in his ear during foreplay? What should you scream out as you climax? And, how can you boost his ego afterwards? Read on to find out.

Foreplay


"At this early stage, it's key to use phrases that indicate your pleasure and arousal," says Michigan sex therapist Lori Hollander. "It's encouraging for him to know that his kiss is enough to get you worked up and bring you to that 'take me now' place." So, try reciting lines like "I want you," "I could kiss you forever," and "I can't keep my hands off you." Hollander explains: "They all send the message that you find him [hot] and irresistible."

If you want to take it up a notch, phrases like "Take your clothes off right now," "I'm getting so wet," and "I can practically feel you inside me" express your fast-building passion. He'll be ecstatic over the fact that you started out excited and have now reached the point where you're going wild, says Hollander.

The Main Event

During oral sex and intercourse, guys want to know if they're doing a good job...and they want specifics. According to Lori Buckley, PsyD, certified sex therapist in California, when you say "That feels so great," he'll wonder--what does? Try injecting more detail, like "I love when you tilt your pelvis like that" or during oral, "Circling your tongue that way feels amazing."

Also, let him know you are ready to climax, because it builds his anticipation. "Oh my God, I'm about to explode!" heightens his excitement.

Then, if you feel like it, express yourself during the actual orgasm. You don't want to sound canned (after all, orgasm is all about losing control), but yelling out "Oh my God, that's it!" while you climax confirms that he got the job done.

Post-Sex

"Right now, he's looking for affirmation that you thought it was great," says Buckley. A less cheesy version of "That was the best I've ever had" is "We always have amazing sex, but that was off the charts." If he's a new guy, try "That was a whole new level of pleasure." Says Buckley, "Not saying anything will make him wonder if it was just so-so for you."

He's also curious about what you liked, because his pleasure is associated with yours. Examples: "You've never been that deep inside me" or "My legs feel more tingly than ever."

As a clincher, say "It's going to be hard to top that...but I can't wait to try." Hollander says, "It's reassuring for him to know that he was so great, you can't resist dreaming about doing it again."

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