Posted on April 19, 2011
Has your guy been behaving strange lately? Be warned: This could be his exit strategy.
Sure, guys are supposed to be the tougher sex, but when it comes to breaking up with a chick, we turn into serious wusses. Of course, we know the right thing would be to sit you down and say, "Listen, it's over." But no—instead, we pull passive-aggressive crap in the hopes that you'll hate us so much, you'll pull the plug first. Some clues your guy could be taking the coward's way out:
1. He doesn't do what he says he will.
Yes, it's true: You usually have to ask guys about 10 times before they'll actually help you install your new computer speakers—that's typical. But when he promises to go with you to a friend's party and then bails or doesn't call when he says he will, that's a problem. "When I started losing interest in my ex, I intentionally became really flaky," says Bruce, 24. "I just didn't feel like going out of my way for her anymore."
2. He keeps asking you, "Are we okay?"
Let's be honest here: Men hate to talk about relationships. So if he starts suggesting weekly assessments, take notice. "I didn't want to just flat-out break her heart, so instead, I tried to hint that I wasn't the right guy for her," says Jack, 32. "I'd ask, 'So, what do you want for the future?' Since I knew she wanted a guy who could take care of her financially, I'd say something like 'I don't want to be a VP someday. Money is overrated.' After enough of these talks, she realized I wouldn't be the rich husband she wanted."
3. He makes you into the bad guy.
Your guy starts constantly choosing his buddies over you... and yet, he says you're the selfish one. It's called deflecting. "I'd been wanting to break up with my girl, but I couldn't bring myself to do it," explains TJ, 28. "So instead, I made it seem like she was a rotten girlfriend by telling her she wasn't giving me enough of her time, or accusing her of cheating." See how it works? Eventually, you'll be dying to free yourself from his incessant harping (or so he hopes).
4. He makes comments about hot girls.
Look, no guy is stupid enough to go on about how sexy some random chick is in front of his girlfriend—unless, of course, he's trying to be inconsiderate. "Once I knew it was over, I just stopped censoring myself," says David, 27. "If I were watching a music video on TV, I would say that I'd never seen a body so tight. I knew it upset her, but I just didn't care at that point." Do yourself a favor: walk away first.