Posted on December 4, 2012
by Claire Betita-Samson
"Bakit siya?" It’s such a reflex question, right? It usually crops up when we spot a new couple and get weirded out because both the guy and girl are just so different from each other. Yes, there’s always a point when, once we learn about an unlikely love match, our jaw drops, our gut burbles, and our hearts sink—and out pops the "Why him?" question.
"They’re just not bagay," says a fan of former Pinay beauty queen and commercial model Liz Almario, when she decided to tie the knot with Wowowee TV host Willie Revillame, despite rumors of Willie’s serial womanizing and sexual harassment cases. When Liz and Willie’s marriage crumbled in a near-scandal a year and six months later, critics couldn’t help but think that yes, they were right. It was the wrong relationship for both parties.
Whether you’ve been in a relationship with a guy or are about to get involved in one, one thing is true: There are wrong matches, and they ultimately fail. Thing is, you may even already know at the back of your mind that it’s not the right fit, that he’s so not The One, that you’re not even happy. Why then—despite repeated warnings by the most well-meaning people in your life and the little telltale signs in your relationship that something’s amiss—are you still with him?
The solution lies in no one else but you, stresses Kate White, former editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine in the US andauthor of How To Set His Thighs On Fire. Once you acknowledge that you’re responsible, she says, it “puts all the control in your hands for remedying the matter.”
“You need to figure out what you’re doing wrong,” White stresses. “Why are you drawn to guys who, in the end, aren’t a good fit for you?”
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