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6 Ways To Gain Cosmo Confidence In Bed

Stop being self-conscious during sex; follow these six tips to get that sex goddess vibe the moment you enter the bedroom.
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1. Undress Slooowly.

When you're self-conscious, the impetus is to get your bare bod under the sheets--stat. But, spend at least five seconds removing each article of clothing one by one. "It's enticing eye candy for him to watch you shed every layer, plus pacing yourself puts you in control," says Stephanie Dillon, PhD, author of The Woman's Guide To Total Self-Esteem. "It also turns the act of disrobing into a sensual process, rather than a sudden, jarring display of your body."

2. Stretch Out.

Nothing says sex kitten like languidly extending across the mattress pre-sex. "Lie flat with your arms up over your head," instructs Tricia Yeomans, a researcher at San Diego State University who studies flirting behavior. "Not only will the stretch itself feel terrific and put you in a lusty frame of mind, but your stomach will look flatter and your boobs will be lifted higher as well."

3. Tilt Your Head Back.

During foreplay, let your head and torso fall back so he can kiss and caress your throat, collarbone, and breasts. "Revealing this vulnerable area shows him you're uninhibited," explains Eve Marx, author of Read My Hips. "And by surrendering to the moment, you'll become freer to focus on sensations, which boosts confidence."

4. Show Pleasure.

You know guys ache to hear you make sounds during the act, but it's just as important to convey your bliss visually, too. In an Emory University study, men shown erotic photos depicting sexual acts looked at the naked women's faces for longer than they gazed at the women's below-the-belt bits. The reason: They were possibly searching for signs that the females were enjoying themselves. "So close your eyes and let your lips part," says Dr. Audrey Nelson, author of You Don't Say. "When he sees that you're having a good time, his kisses and touches will become more passionate, increasing your satisfaction, too." And, making an expression that looks sexy can actually trigger you to feel sexier.

5. Straddle Him.

A sex kitten is always ready to pounce. When you hop on top of your guy, it shows your libidinous hunger, and that's a blatant clue to your between-the-sheets voraciousness. "Straddling him reinforces that you are steering the experience," says Nelson. "In addition to amping up your sense of erotic empowerment, he'll be excited by the fact that you're dominating him."

6. Get Spooned.

Bring that self-assured attitude with you post-nookie, too. Lie on your side, and pull your guy up behind you, with your butt pressed into him. "Feeling his privates pushed up against you will remind you of the naughty act that went down and underline your sexual hold over him," says Nelson. To drive the point home, grind against him, and then grab his hands and place them so they're cupping your breasts. It sends him a message that even though sex itself is over, you still emanate brazen seductiveness.

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