Men, *sigh* bless their little hearts! Thanks to a lot of really rotten ideas about how women are "supposed" to act, there are quite a few pervasive "compliments" men like to give women that are actually just straight-up sexist. You've probably heard...all of them. Here are 13 of these nasty "compliments" men like to give and should really stop giving.
1. "I like that you don't wear a lot of makeup."
Sounds nice, until you realize this is just a socially acceptable way of saying, "I (wrongly) assume that any woman who puts time or care into what goes on her face is high-maintenance and therefore dislike her."
2. "You order whiskey/beer? That's awesome."
LMAO, as opposed to ordering what, ~cHiCk DrInKs~? Too many things are already unnecessarily gendered without adding alcohol to the list.
3. "It's cool how you like to watch sports."
The problem here isn't with your mutual appreciation for athletics, it's his surprise that you care in first place. The incorrect assumption that girls can't enjoy spots is so dumb. Don't act all pleasantly surprised by this. Also, would there be a problem if a girl you liked didn't like sports? No.
4. "You're not like other girls."
Next time you hear this, just go ahead and assume the dude has only ever associated with women who are actually aliens that look like women. Because "not being like other girls" isn't a thing. This is just subtly throwing shade at literally every other woman he's dated.
5. "It's cool how you're really into food."
Ah, yes, it is cool how a woman can be "into food" despite the pressures put on us by the ~male gaze~ to be ultra-thin and only eat tiny salads in the privacy of our own homes. The best thing to say about whatever a woman chooses to eat is: nothing at all.
6. "You're just like one of the guys!"
Where did you get these antiquated ideas about gender?!
7. "I like how you don't freak out about little things."
This is essentially a sneaky way of saying, "Women are crybabies but you're not," or, "I can't wait to get away with literally everything in this relationship!" No, sir.
8. "You're so much more chill than my ex was..."
This is dangerously close to a "my crazy ex" type phrase, which is always less about the ex and more about how awful of a boyfriend he probably was to her.
9. "You're so cute when you're mad."
Literally this is so patronizing and cringe-y—and totally negates whatever perfectly justified reason you probably had to be angry in the first place. This is a very bad attempt at changing the subject when he knows he's done wrong.
10. "You're so funny, most girls I know don't have great jokes."
Sorry, but this says less about your stellar sense of humor and more about the fact that he doesn't think women are capable of exactly the same things (and TBH more) as men.
11. "That was so ballsy of you."
Can we please stop referring general badassery by using the most sensitive body part on anyone of any gender?
12. "Your clothes are cool, it doesn't even look like you're trying."
OK, so a couple things. One: Is he just saying you look like shit? And two: There's nothing wrong with caring about your appearance or looking like you care about your appearance. Any dude who thinks otherwise is probably boring and dumb and uncreative.
13. "You just seem really wholesome."
Read between the lines. The subtext here almost always comes from a place of disgusting slut-shaming. It's almost like saying, "I like that you look like the kind of girl who still might have am intact hymen."
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.