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To Mr. Not Right Now

Timing is everything.

Our first encounter is so clear in my head: you were wearing that navy blue button-down with that silly grin on your face and a scotch in hand. Our romance was something made for the movies. It was as if we were the only ones that existed and everything just conspired for us to be in that moment.

I can’t remember the last time I was that happy. You are everything I want in a partner and you are so good at being mine. Like you said, what we had was like a fairytale. You’ve made it unbelievably difficult to imagine a life without you. We were too good to be true.

Life had greater plans for us. We were both so ambitious and determined that being in a relationship seemed like a chance passenger at that point in the ride.

You had no room for distractions and you made sure that that was clear with me.

On the other hand, I was consumed by thoughts of what came next for me. We fought about the same things over and over again—our differences in priorities and not having enough time for each other. As much as I wanted to believe that we could reach our goals side by side, we both knew that our love was just the kind we always hoped for, but not the kind that we need right now.

In the deepest part of my heart, I hope you are the one for me. It’s this silly notion I led myself to believe because in that brief moment that we shared, you knew exactly how to love me. You are the cliché songs are written for: “Right love, wrong time.”

I’m still plagued with unanswered questions about why not being with you right now makes sense.

A stubborn girl in love would throw away all these fears and take the plunge, but a smart girl in love understands that if there is any hope for a future together, being apart now is necessary.

I don’t want you to feel obligated to be a part of my future just because we couldn't work it out on our first attempt. Our love knows much better than that. There are endless possibilities to seize, and when they are revealed to us, we’ll appreciate why we gave it time.

I find comfort in knowing that when our paths cross again, you and I will be the persons we ought to be, and by then, we can give the right kind of love—the love we both deserve.

After all, timing really is everything.