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Ways You're Pushing Love Away

Don't be scared to open up your heart.
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You're still stuck in the past.
Are you constantly thinking about (or stalking) your ex-boyfriend? Bad idea! If you’re still emotionally stuck with a former flame, it's going to be difficult to move on and welcome possible suitors. Stop stalking his social media accounts and try not to meet up with him to give you time to heal. Once you let go of all the emotional baggage you’re carrying, you can be more open with the next man you meet.

You’re afraid to open up.
Staying inside your emotional comfort zone and avoiding raw emotions can be dangerous, says relationship therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., and author of Quantum Love. "When you refuse to be vulnerable, it says you're ashamed of your wants and needs and that creates walls between you and your partner," she says. "He might start to close off as soon as he feels you doing it. Soon enough, you're both hiding behind brick walls, even when you're lying in bed right next to each other," she added.



You tend to overthink things.
Most of the time, people avoid love because they think they won’t be able to balance their family, a career, their social life, and a relationship–but it’s really all about time management. If you’re dating someone new, don’t push him away just because you think you won’t be able to sustain the relationship. Talk to him about it and set ground rules so that you two don’t end up disappointed with each other when one is lacking.

You blame yourself for failed relationships.
People deal with breakups differently. Some bounce back easily while others blame themselves for not being enough or worthy of the relationship (or to be in another relationship.) According to Craig Malkin PhD, a clinical psychologist, and Instructor of Psychology for Harvard Medical School, people who have experienced emotional abuse during childhood are more likely to practice self-blame. "It’s widely observed by researchers and clinicians, alike, that childhood emotional abuse leads to some of the harshest patterns of self-blame–a life long pattern of viewing oneself as the problem."

This story originally appeared on Femalenetwork.com.

* Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.