11 Ways Valentine's Day Totes Sucks

'Will I die alone with a dozen cats?' you say every February 14.
by Maximus Meridius
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1. There will be a LOT of cars on the road. All those couples going on dates will make for some instant road congestion. Hey, at least lovers can have a MOMOL sesh if they’re caught in a gridlock.

2. All the malls and good restos are bound to be full. Can’t a single lady get a seat right up in hurrr?!

3. You’ll have to deal with vapid romantic posts on social media. Couple selfies, looong Facebook/Instagram posts, and probably a proposal (or five) will conquer the Internet. Let the flooding of cheesiness commence!

4. On the flip side, the bitter ones will be ranting on Facebook. If you thought lovey-dovey posts were irritating, wait until all the nega rants take over your feed.

5. V-Day can stir up memories of old flames. Not that you have a lot of fond ones of your ex, but reminiscing those days can be a bitch.

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6. It’ll only emphasize the fact that you’re single AF! Ako na! Ako na ang malungkot at walang boyfriend!

7. And if you’re in a relationship, it’s just kind of awkward celebrating in front of all your single friends. Brag about your roses and new charm bracelet while you’re still in the honeymoon stage, CG! Before you know it, things are bound to get suck-y.

8. You’re going to be assaulted by a sea of red at work or in school. Why do people think it’s cool to wear red on V-Day?

9. Flower vendors will be shoving roses in your face. Shoo her away and assure her that your money will go to more important, lasting things… like pedicures, spa treatments, and lipstick!

10. You’ll be left at home wondering how most couples are having hot sex. Your lonely ass, on the other hand, will be munching on cold leftovers while watching reruns of Gilmore Girls.

11. This holiday magnifies your unromantic outlook on life. And this is the reason why you have no date and will grow old with a dozen cats to keep you company. Who cares, though? That sounds pretty awesome! (Or sad?)

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