13 Struggles Of Dating A Guy Who Dresses Better Than You

You're no stranger to dumb homophobic jokes from other people.
by Julia Pugachevsky
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1. When he shops, it can take a whiiiiiile. 

Him choosing new eyewear will result in a steady stream of texts as he tries on and photographs approximately 10,000 frames and wants you to weigh in on each one. (But once you do find the Holy Grail of Glasses, it’ll feel like you hit a new relationship milestone.) 

2. You’re constantly on a mission to get him to love your more “quirky” pieces. 

Sorry but, at best, your neon anime-print Doc Martens are going to get a polite “...they’re growing on me." And he might tease you when you say the only designer you know is Louis Vuitton. 

3. He'll ask for your opinions on what he wears, and you’ll have no clue. 

At some point, he’ll ask you which suit you like better, and you legitimately think he looks great in both. Except he’s not fishing for compliments; he genuinely wants to know which look you like more and you have no idea. :(

4. His (various) colognes will make you feel like you must smell so gross in comparison. 

Body spray + cologne + scented beard oil vs. whatever deodorant you haphazardly picked up at the drugstore doesn’t feel like a fair matchup. This will most certainly end up with you perusing the department store while having an existential crisis about whether or not you want to smell more like citrus or lavender.

5. You sometimes wonder what he actually finds cute on you. 

With other guys you’ve dated, a basic booby bodycon dress and platform pumps would more than suffice. But well-dressed men are different. Their favorite look on you could very well be a classic white tee + ripped jeans + sneakers, or a loose-fitting all-black ensemble with statement lipstick. The best indicator you have is a slightly greater inflection in "you look good."

6. He’ll make a comment about your clothes, and you’ll totally take it the wrong way. 

 He’ll tell you that you look especially hot in skinny jeans, which’ll make you automatically think that he hates the fact that you wear skirts 99 percent of the time. (He doesn’t.)

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7. You’ll soon realize he’s also more organized than you, and immediately feel anxious about it. 

It makes sense that a guy who buys shirts requiring an iron also irons. Dressing well is magically easier when you live in a tidy home and have your life generally together. This will urge you to frantically stack your shoes on your actual shoe rack and move your vibrator to an actual drawer instead of halfway under your pillow.

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8. You’re no stranger to dumb homophobic jokes from other people. 

“My boyfriend dresses really well, way better than me.” “YOU SURE HE’S NOT GAY???? HAHAHAHA." Yep, straight men are supposed to be shlubby while dating fashion models, and a man caring about how he looks is directly correlated to who he wants to sleep with. Got it.

9. You get self-conscious about how much you spend on clothing compared to him. 

 He’s investing in nice handmade shoes, while you have yet to graduate from the Forever 21 sales rack (honestly, you probably never will.)

10. At your most insecure moments, you’ll question why he’s dating you at all. 

If the stereotype is “dude in ill-fitting jeans dates a refined woman,” then a guy who wears form-fitting flannels should, by logic, date a verified fashion goddess. Chuck ended up with Blair, whose clothes were so on point that they are STILL FASHIONABLE A DECADE LATER. Meanwhile, you can’t let go of your favorite dress from 2009. What’s wrong with this picture?

11. You feel inspired to revamp your wardrobe and wonder what alien life form just took over your body. 

 Prior to dating him, your closet was filled to maximum capacity with NSFW crop tops you only wore once a year (if you remembered you even owned them.) It’s come to the point where, if you want to buy new clothes, you’ll need to make physical room, prompting you to, yes, clean out your closet. Once you downsize, though, you feel unexpectedly amazing, because you got rid of clothes that didn’t make you feel that great in the first place. And you get to wear pieces that actually excite you to put on.

12. You feel a disproportionate sense of pride when you give him fashion advice.

There will be one day where he’ll pair a chambray shirt with pants that are a liiiittle too close to the same shade of denim, where you will advise him on black shorts instead. This will feel like a huge victory. Savor it while it lasts.

13. You know if you ever break up, your standards for how men dress will be higher. 

Before him, you were more accepting of weird loafers and, if you were especially forgiving, the ever-loathed cargo shorts. You always equated caring about how a guy dresses with extreme shallowness, even though you seldom held guys to the same standard of open-mindedness when it came to your own first date outfits. But now that’s changed. You like a man who takes care of himself, a man who knows exactly which jeans make his butt worthy of worship. And he’ll probably ruin you for all future dudes who wear shirts with mysterious sauce stains. Hopefully you’ll never have to find out, but if you do break up, you know you’ll only date guys who care about wanting to impress you. 

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors. 

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