The 7 Female Archetypes Men Always Fall For

As told by a straight dude.
by Anton D. Umali
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1. Little Miss Perfect
She has the beauty pageant good looks to match her master’s degree in Social Entrepreneurship. When she isn’t volunteering at the local halfway house for stray puppies, she’s helping her grandma decorate the community church. Her niceness is innate, and as a bonus, her selflessness extends to the bedroom. Not a hair out of place, she’s what most men would describe as perfect. The only problem: she expects the same of her man.

2. The Inherent Vice
There’s a cliché that girls tend to go for the bad boy at one point or another in her life, and it’s the same for the opposite sex. It’s easy to get intoxicated by a lady you can party with 'til 5a.m., or bring to spur-of-the-moment road trips with the guys. Every dude needs a shot of Whiskey in between his bottles of beer. And the bad girl, she’s that potent dose of insobriety that’s hard to knock back but goes down oh-so well. Pun intended.

3. The Surrogate Mother
She nurses him when he’s sick, packs him all the healthiest snacks for work, and even reminds him to stop smoking too much. Yet he just can’t get enough of the woman that reminds him of his mama. Creepy, yes. Blame it on Oedipus and his incestuous ways. Or Sigmund Freud and his sickeningly apt theories. Or blame it simply on man’s capacity to, well, be a mama’s boy.

4. The Gal Who’s Just One Of The Boys
Because she’s better than him at contact sports and videogames, this beer guzzling, chicken wing loving, bruiser of a belle was just part of the gang…'til he saw her in a bikini.

5. The Virginal Vessel
The hard-to-get girls are usually the most exciting to chase. And the v-card, it has a mystical power over men-folk. It prods the innate alpha male caveman into believing that he’s the lucky guy that should absolve her of her virginal misery. Well, she’s keeping her virginity for a reason. The reason being: douchebags who think they can fool her into intercourse. Not gonna happen. 

6. Miss Sex On Legs
Almost every guy he knows–his officemates, his close friend, and even his cousin–has taken a spin with this whirlwind force of nature. She’s so sexily unapologetic that, when he decided to have a one-night stand with her to cure a lingering dry spell, he fell madly in love post-coitus. But the thing with this wild child is, monogamy bores her because as soon as she feels a man is pinning her down, it’s time to say goodbye. He, on the other hand, is left to pick up the pieces of a broken heart amidst all the used condoms. 

7. The Cool Girl
Every man’s fantasy is packaged as a laidback honey that easily gets along with both his friends and family. A girl who doesn’t mind staying in on weekends for movie marathons in lieu of fancy dinners, can backpack through an exotic country in lieu of lounging in a luxurious hotel, and when she isn’t in the role of lover, is his best friend through and through. In the end, just like women, what men really want to fall in love with is a person who thoroughly understands who they are­–imperfections and all. 

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