To The Guy Who Won't Let Me Go

You can't keep me in the grey area forever.
by Gianna Banzon
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Please stop doing this to me. It’s been months since we broke up, and you still won’t let me move on. You're hardly even giving me a chance to try.

This was what you wanted, remember? You said we had to break up because you were lost and confused. You chose to give up on us so that you could figure things out. We weren't on the same page anymore, you said, and you needed time to think about what you really wanted. As much as it hurt me, I accepted and respected your decision.

And I loved you enough to let you go. So why won’t you do the same for me?

You make it look so easy, getting over me and moving on. I’m still trying to pick up all the pieces while you’re out having fun and enjoying your newly-single life. It’s like you’ve forgotten me already, but you refuse to be forgotten.

Do you have any idea how much that kills me? I still wake up every morning with a pain in my chest. I still miss you when our song plays on the radio. You’re still the first and last thing on my mind every day. I still question why I wasn't good enough for you despite everything I've done right.

That’s why I need you to stop keeping me in the grey area. You can’t act like you’re over me one minute, and then come crawling back to me when you’re feeling lonely.

You have to understand I’m trying my best to get on with my life too, but I can’t do that if you keep reeling me back in. Your random text messages get my hopes up every single time. Your bouts of jealousy when another guy comes along convince me that you still want me back. My friends tell me you’re constantly asking about me. You say you care, but your actions say otherwise.

You know all my weak spots and you know how to use them to get my attention. You lure me back in with false hope, only to break my heart all over again when you take it back.

This isn’t a game. You have to stop toying with my emotions like that.

Every time I feel like I'm finally getting better, you always manage to find a way to tighten the grip you have on me. It's exhausting, excruciating, and embarrassing. 

Don’t think that just because I still love you, you can take advantage of me whenever it’s convenient for you. I deserve better than that and you know it. I’m at fault too for letting you get away with it for so long, but I’m done waiting and hoping. I refuse to be just an option for you to come back to whenever you feel like it.

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You have to make a choice: it’s either you want me or you don’t.

You can’t have the best of both worlds. If you really want me back, then go fight for me. Show me how much you really want this. You keep insisting that "now is just not the right time," but tell me, will it ever really be? Or are you just saying that because I'm your safety net?

If you have no intentions of taking me seriously, then at least have the decency to let me go and be happy. Put me out of my misery—it’s the least you can do.

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