Why We Settle For Less-Than-Great Relationships

He's bad for you, yet you just can’t leave him. Here's why a chick stays with a man even if she's no longer happy.
by Jen Chuaunsu
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“I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

You’re tired of eating alone and doing things by yourself. “Sometimes a girl will try hard to make a bad relationship work because she feels pressure to be dating someone, anyone, and doesn’t want to live life solo again,” Alison James, author of The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35, writes.

“I’m addicted to him (to love).”

Love addiction is when you say “I love him too much, I can’t let him go.” That’s according to Search Your Love, an online dating service. “You try to convince yourself that all these 'minuses' are temporary and that your partner is just having a hard time.” Some people may think it’s normal to be neglected, adds Alina Ruigrok, a relationship expert on love-sessions.com. “You believe that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else.”

“He makes me feel whole.”

Tessa, 23, a marketing assistant, relates: "I hooked up with a guy who had the kind of life I wanted. I didn’t really love him, but I was infatuated with the life he had. I became needy.”

“It’s easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself,” says Betty Friedan, author of The Feminine Mystique. “When you enter a relationship lacking self worth, all you can offer is neediness.”

Perhaps we can learn from a line from the movie The Wedding Date: “You never meet the wrong guy. It is always the right guy at the moment you need it.” A relationship can teach you about giving love, receiving love, letting go, and persevering. The experience is something you can’t put a price on.

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