“Oh, your uterus is retroverted,” said the gynecologist as he gently slipped a probe inside me. It was only during then, my third checkup, that I was informed about my “tilted” uterus. I was alarmed, but I think deep down, I already knew something was up.
Sex was one of the most anticipated experiences in my adolescent life, but it wasn’t always easy for me. First-time experiences aren’t always the best, especially if you and your partner are both virgins. But my first time was more than just a little awkward and silly. It was devastating.
My then-boyfriend and I had waited for two years before going all the way, and when we finally decided to do it, he couldn’t even get inside me. It was too painful for me.
Growing up, I was told that the first time is supposed to hurt so I just accepted it. The following times included a lot of frustration, and for me, even a few tears. Eventually though, things got better; I had a few pain-free intimate moments with him. At the time, I thought to myself, “Maybe I just need to get used to it.”
Like most high school sweethearts, my first boyfriend and I broke up. Coming from a serious long-term relationship, I just wanted to explore. Before I knew it, I had a FWB. I had convinced myself that I was finally enjoying sex.
So here was this really attractive guy–whom I’ve had the biggest crush on since college–inviting me to his condo one night. I’m not going to lie: It was exciting! When he attempted to enter me, it was as mortifying as the first time. He was afraid to keep going because I felt pain, not pleasure. Still, that night didn’t stop us from trying again. We kept this arrangement for two months. We tried different sex positions and toys, but I started to think that maybe sex was just overrated.
A few months after we ended our arrangement, I had to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound to monitor my hormones. That was the day I found out I had a tilted uterus. The doctor said that although it wasn’t a cause for concern (it was fairly normal, 20 percent of women have it), one of the common symptoms was painful intercourse. When I broke the news to my family, an aunt told me that she also has a tilted uterus, and that she never really gets to experience pain-free sex.
I was miserable; I thought I was doomed to have painful sex for the rest of my life. I was so discouraged that I decided to abstain from sex completely.
A year later, however, my libido inevitably cried for help. I jumped at the first opportunity I had with someone I found extremely attractive. This time, I told him about my uterus before we started. As expected, he had a hard time entering me as well. It didn’t ruin our mood, though, especially since I already saw it coming. We went back to foreplay. Much to my surprise, as he was touching me, he found a sweet spot inside me that didn’t hurt.
Soon after, we began dating. And we had pain-free sex. I was ecstatic; this was the kind of sex I’ve always dreamed of! Unfortunately, it was a short-lived romance, but it ended on good terms.
Knowing that sex could be pleasurable, I knew I had to explore my body; I couldn’t just rely on my partners to make sex good for me. I found the right way of entering myself and had one of the best orgasms of my life.
Since then, sex has been great for me. Today, I enjoy sex the same way any girl with a normal uterus would, and it’s all because I know my own body. Knowing that there are other girls with the same problem, here are some of my tips:
Practice, practice, practice!
If only I explored my vagina sooner, I would’ve had pain-free sex sooner. Don’t be afraid to get to know your own body. Remember: There’s nothing wrong with masturbation.
Find the ~right~ position.
From my experience, the girl-on-top position is the easiest one to try when you’re just getting started. When it’s my first time with someone, this is my go-to position. But when we try having sex missionary style, it helps to put a pillow behind my lower back because it’s always better when I’m a little elevated. The Internet might say otherwise. Information about what sex is like with a tilted uterus isn’t consistent. Some say that certain positions can’t be enjoyed, but I believe that any position could be pleasurable just as long you know your body.
Let your partner know about your situation.
I own up to my body’s quirks. So far, all the guys I’ve slept with have been fine with my uterus. It even interests them. It’s better for them to be aware so that they can be gentle when penetrating.
Don’t freak out.
It could take some time for others to figure it out, just as it took me a while to understand it. I kept trying because of how badly I wanted to enjoy sex, especially since I have the sex drive of a rabbit. When I took the focus away from penetration, it helped my me and my partner. Sex is supposed to be enjoyed, even with a tilted uterus.